March 30, 2018
The lessons I have learned through my infertility journey have been hard but necessary. I am comforted by the words of 1 Peter 5:10:
“And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.”
Lessons are not fun while you’re in the trial, but when we’re able to look back on what we’ve learned, it makes our God so big, and our problems at the time so little. I’m thankful for the trials that build my character, and grow my faith.
LESSONS LEARNED FROM INFERTILITY:
I don’t think there is any lesson I learned more than surrendering to the Father through my infertility journey. Surrendering my dream of having a child. Surrendering my disappointments. Surrendering my timing. It has been a very long season of surrender. This is such a hard lesson because I want to be in control. I like making my own plans and I just want God to bless them. But that’s not how He works. He wants to bless us with His plans. Therefore, we surrender to Him. The Lord says “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you.” (Psalm 33:8) Learning how to let Him guide me, and having absolutely no control, has been life-transforming.
It’s so easy to say that we trust in the Lord. But how much do we trust Him when He continues to say no to our prayers? Can we trust Him when He has spoken a word into our lives, but He has yet to fulfill it? Can we trust Him when our prayer is for something good, and pure, yet He continues to withhold it from us? Do we believe the Word when it says “Nothing is too hard for the Lord”? That has been the Word I’ve been standing on the past 3 years. I knew without a doubt that God could give us a child if He chose to do so. I just did not know when it would be, or if He was choosing that for us.
I’ve learned how to trust that His timing is better than ours.
I can look back over this journey and see why the timing was not right until now. The first procedure we did was right before my last semester of college, where I took 5 classes, worked full time and led a Bible Study. I was so stressed that semester and I can only imagine the stress of a pregnancy. I probably would have dropped out of my last semester. GOD KNEW.
The 2nd procedure we did was right when Corey changed jobs to real estate. It was a stressful time because our income dropped significantly as we waited for Corey’s commissions to come it. We were stressed financially and emotionally. I contemplated getting a 2nd job. Corey did get a 2nd job. That would not have been the right time to think about spending money on a baby. GOD KNEW.
I just love how God sees the big picture and we just have to trust that He knows what’s best for us.
Oh patience… I have a love-hate relationship with you! I want to be a patient person, but I hate learning the lesson. You’ve heard it said before, don’t ever pray for patience because God will teach you patience. Well trust me, I have not prayed for patience. But He taught me anyways. Waiting on the Lord will always reap a reward. I think I am more grateful for our reward (baby) than I would have been had He given it to me right away. God knows I need things to be taught in extreme ways. I’m a drama queen in that way. J
God has truly increased my faith through this journey. Someone spoke into our lives about 2 years ago saying that we needed to speak life into our child. They said we should name them and pray for them by name. We should thank the Lord for them. We should “call those things that are not as though they are.” (Romans 4:17) So that’s what we did. And through each disappointment, our faith grew as we kept believing that God was giving us a child.
Power of Prayer
I cannot tell you how much my prayer life has grown deeper over the past few years. I believe God uses trials to draw us closer to Him. My prayers were full of pleading, begging and grieving. Now my prayer continues into thankfulness and praise, rather than crying out to Him for help. The real test of our prayer life is how it continues after the trial ends. Do we continue to praise Him when the good times come? I just can’t stop praising Him! I am still overwhelmed with gratefulness that He is allowing me to be a mother.
I am thankful for this season of infertility that God has given me. My relationship with Him has grown deeper and my need for Him has grown significantly! God will work all things together for good, for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. It’s hard to see this while in the midst of the trial, but this should give every one of us hope that there is good coming, if we remain steadfast.