December 26, 2015
There is always an end to the honeymoon stage. That period of time where everything is grand and goes smooth. That few months after the marriage where you don’t fight and all is love. That period of time after the teenage kid comes to live with you and he acts like a perfect child while trying to get settled in. And then all of a sudden it comes to an end. And just like that, it happens… the fight… the rebelliousness… the act of defiance. And real parenting begins.
I have to applaud all you parents of teens! And I have to confess… I NEVER KNEW!! I never knew that THIS was what my parents had to go through all those years. I NEVER KNEW that kids could be so terrible yet so clever. I NEVER KNEW that a kid could make you so angry that you almost lose yourself and your cool.
What I DID KNOW what that this day was coming. I DID KNOW that we were going to have to make some hard decisions on his behalf. I DID KNOW that all the prayer over Blake was leading up to this point in time. And I DID KNOW that God would be the only way that we would be able to face a situation like this.
What I see is a hurting child who hasn’t grieved his father’s death yet and I think the holidays might have brought out some deep wounds that made him act out. It was, after all, right when we left our first Christmas celebration that it began. What I see is a child that does not care about consequences or how much he can hurt another person with his actions and words. What I see is a child who needs more love than ever because he pushes people away at this point in the relationship because he doesn’t know how to act or how to live a normal life without trying to force his way upon others.
How do you parent a child that is not your own and has never known any structure, rules or love? How do you parent a child who doesn’t respect your authority or your household? These are real questions… that are in need of real answers!
We have a lot to learn. Corey and I say to each other each day that our kids will not act this way because we will raise them with different values. And while I do believe that part it true, we truly don’t know how they will act. And I think that we will face some similar battles again down the road. But what we have learned and will hold on to is that God provides a way and the wisdom to get through these times. There will be scars. But there is compromise and healing.
Please keep praying for Blake. He has so much to learn. We are trying to teach him the right way to live but he is clinging to his old ways that are going to be detrimental to him down the road.
Hang in there Randi. I was wondering how Blake was doing, I wanted to reach out to him but felt I would be intruding. Blake is a good kid at heart but having no structure in his life makes him rebel when you give him structure. He can say some very mean, hurtful things and it’s hard to let those words go. I’m praying for Blake as well as you and Cory.