By Randi Spearman
Wow! My little heart was crushed today. I was looking forward to going home this weekend on a 48 hour pass. I thought it was approved for sure. My case manager talked like it was a done deal. But when I called, she said it was denied and I had to go on a 3 hour pass first.
My heart fell to my feet. I had gotten myself so hyped up about being home for the weekend and going to church with my mom and now I am so discouraged and completely let down.
This just makes me think about how man will always let us down. There will always be times that our plans don’t go as we planned them.
Sometimes people purposefully try to discourage us. Like when my case manager would be so negative about every pass. “Oh, that’s not gonna get approved…they won’t let you do that,” she’d say. And then it would get approved. And today was the opposite, she was optimistic about my pass and it got denied. It just goes to show how fickle people are and we just never know how the cards are going to fall.
But when they fall against us and we are knocked down or let down, what happens next? Do we give up and not try again? Do we lift it up to God and pray He makes a way? Do we trust that whatever happened already was God’s way and that’s why it happened that way in the first place?
Life is always going to be full of disappointments and hurt. But God says, “Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10. He says to, “Not let your hearts be troubled.” John 14:27
There will be another weekend to go on a pass home. Or maybe I will be home for good next weekend. Whatever the case may be, God is still in control during my disappointments and during my time of rejoicing.
As I closed my journal, I opened up my Daily Light and God says, “Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” John 14:7
Thank You Lord for confirming that Word was from You just a few minutes ago. Your peace calms my heart. Your peace makes all the waves still. Your peace passes all understanding and is guarding my heart right now.