By Randi Spearman
I am on the train reading Little John’s book, “How God Moved My Ashtray.” He talks about how he wants to have a day that he doesn’t have to ask for forgiveness. That he just praises God all day and doesn’t slip up with a “little” sin.
I feel the same way. I am constantly trying to be aware of the “little” sins (whatever that may mean) because I know that the “little” sins only lead to permission thoughts for bigger sins.
I’ve been convicted when people that I choose to hang around continue to cuss and do things I have been purged of, and I do nothing to remove myself from their company. I’m not judging them for the choices they make; I am only disappointed in myself for not speaking up and asking them not to do it around me.
I am a sinner just the same. I have thoughts that I don’t like having. My mouth has been speaking things it has no business saying. I’m not sure there has been ever been a day that I have not asked for forgiveness for something I have been convicted over. Maybe I am too hard on myself; I am not actually sinning with my thoughts unless I entertain them. But I still want God to know that these thoughts are not what I want to be thinking and so I repent anyway.
I have to continually renew my mind. Little John mentions that while in prison, the temptations are a little easier because they are limited. I’m gonna “second” that statement coming from the outside.
The temptations are many out here…”big” sins and “little” ones. I have to be aware of the things that could possibly trip me up. It’s a lot harder than I thought it was going to be.
I can ask God for strength all day long and to guard my heart and my mouth, but Psalm 18:23 says I have to “keep myself from my iniquity.”
I have to do that part. He gives me the strength, but I have to be the one to follow through. I can pray, “Lord, keep Your servant from willful sins,” (Psalm 19:13) all day long, but if I don’t remove myself from situations that might cause me to sin, that prayer is useless.
Lord, Your grace is enough. Sometimes I do the things I don’t want to do and You are always right there, abundant in mercy…quick to forgive. Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to You. I pray that my actions, words and my intentions all match up. Thank You for Your mercy, Your grace and Your forgiveness.