September 7, 2012
I have been so full of complaints today. I am getting on my own nerves. I’m complaining about the days being so long. I’m complaining about not being able to sleep. I’m complaining about stolen sunglasses. And sure enough, with my bad attitude, I started to fall back into a funk.
So I laid down to try to take my afternoon nap (which has lately just been a time of tossing and turning with my eyes closed and my mind racing). And I just started singing in my head.
“As the deer panteth for the water, so my soul longs after You. You alone are my hearts desire and I long to worship You. You alone are my strength, my shield. To You alone may my spirit yield. You alone are my hearts desire, and I long to worship You.”
By the time I was singing the 3rd verse, I was in tears.
How could I be so ungrateful? How could I be so selfish? How could my mind be so far from what’s important? How can I focus on all that’s going wrong instead of all that’s right?
“Forgive me Lord” I prayed. “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to You.”
This has been a reoccurring verse these days as my meditations have been wandering.
So I spent a good hour and a half tonight at the piano working on some songs. And not only did the time fly by, but I was focused on Jesus and doing what I love.
I am going to spend the next 12 days in constant worship. I am so blessed right now and have so much to praise God for.
I wonder if there is a piano at the halfway house. Or maybe there is a church nearby that I can play at. These are the kinds of things I should be dwelling on.
“Finally, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.” (Phil. 4:8)
Randi, I graduated w Shauna…I’m new at catching up on your journey & I just wanted to say that you are such an encouragement. It reminds me of Hosea 2 when God says that He’ll lure us to the desert & speak upon our heart THERE. It’s always been a desert that He prefers speaking in my own life & turns it into a valley of gorgeous flowers & water flowing from the mountain tops. I played the A Cappella Kids “As The Deer” for my 2-yr-old son & he just quietly listened…& I cried. 🙂 May the Father wrap you up with His love & peace each day of your new assignment in your journey… I haven’t gotten to read all your posts yet so I’m not sure if you’ve already heard of the 365 devotional Jesus Calling by Sarah Young or not but if not, I recently have found its just what I need every day to reset my mind on Him…might be worth getting for your transition & just life. Praying for continued boldness & growth that I can hear just in the handful of posts I’ve gotten to read from your start til now…so awesome! Blessings <3