September 13, 2012
I was wide awake at 5am when the guards came in to count. I wanted to go back to sleep but it just wasn’t happening. I have exactly one week left here. I wonder what God’s got in store.
We’re doing a Bible study on Wednesdays that is written around a cd by Susan Werner. It’s really cool. Her songs have beautiful messages in them. There is a lady in New Hampshire named Nancy, who has teamed up with Karen, our Bible study leader, and she writes these great studies.
Last night the song we did is called “I Will Have My Portion”. The songs starts off saying:
“Some would say that time has passed me by – Some would say that the wells have all run dry,
Some would say that’s how it has to be – Some would say, but I beg to disagree”
The first question asked “In your present situation, do you ever feel like time has passed you by?” My first response to this was “YUP!” I’m stuck in here while time moves right along… People move on with their lives… I’m still right here.
But this is so not how it is. This is part of my life. I’m not suck here. I’ve been blessed to be here. “All my wells ran dry” out in the world, so He had to set me aside to fill them back up. “My times are in His hands” (Psalm 31:15) so how could time be passing me by? If anything, I have been given extra time to do wise and purposeful things. It has not passed me by. I have used this time for my benefit and for God’s glory.
The chorus of the song says:
“Cause I know good fortune waits for me somewhere – I will have my portion, I will have my share
I’ll keep my feet in motion til’ they carry me there – I will have my portion, I will have my share”
When I heard these words, I got a huge grin and thought… yup… I have good fortune out there somewhere… I’m gonna get my share soon. My first thoughts were of the future, after all, who would say you can have good fortune in prison?
But these are my thoughts in the flesh – thinking my share and fortune are earthly treasures.
But once again, this is not so. “Lord, You are my portion and my cup; You make my lot secure” (Psalm 16:5). “I cry to You, Lord; I say, ‘You are my refuge, my portion in the land of the living” (Psalm 142:5).
I have my portion. I have my share already. One of the Hebrew translations of the word “portion” is “partake in” or “involve myself in.” “I cry to You, Lord: I say You are my refuge, I involve myself in You in the land of the living” (Ps 142:5).
I involve myself in You, Lord. I love that! That is my portion. I am a part of God. He is a part of me. He is my inheritance. And I believe that blessings come just because I am His daughter. But even if there were no blessings, no good fortune, He is more than enough for me! He is ALL I need!
Thank You Father, for all the blessings You’ve given me here, and the ones awaiting me in the future.