June 13, 2012
I am struggling with temptation today. The commissary is calling my name… LOUD!
I put myself on a budget for the next 3 months so I can leave here with some money in my pocket. I’m not good with budgeting. I’ve never done it. I spent the money as it came and if I needed more – I hustled some more. Money was meant to be spent… first on clothes… then on bills.
So being that I’m not going to live like that anymore, I decided to try this whole budget idea. And I have to tell you – I don’t like it!
I’ve budgeted so much money per month, and when it’s gone, I’m not spending anymore. That might sound pretty normal to most people – but that’s just crazy to me! If I run out of chips, I should be able to buy them a week before my month is up. Or if the commissary gets new protein bars, I should be able to buy them a week early.. it’s protein after all!
So today when the commissary guy made the announcement that there was no line at commissary, I thought he was talking directly to me. I mean come on… NO LINE… that never happens! And I had just finished my workout and a protein bar would have been just perfect!
And the little voices in my head said, “Go ahead… the money is there… deduct it from next month’s budget… THERE’S NO LINE!”
I went to my room and begged my neighbor to talk me out of it. Of course she says, “Just protein bars? That’s okay. Go ahead.”
But the thing is, that I won’t get just protein bars… I’m almost out of chips remember? Might as well get those too. And really since there’s no line, I might as well get everything else I’m running low on so I don’t have to go next week when there probably will be a line…”
And that’s the direction my mind goes in. So I prayed, “Lead me not into temptation and deliver me from evil…”
Not that commissary is evil. But I have this evil spending spirit that has been attached to me for years and I want to be delivered from it. And one way for me to have victory over it is to stick to my budget.
So I’ve been hiding out in my office all day listening to worship music. And I’ve just got to make it though the day and I’ll have stuck to my budget! Cause next week is when my new month starts. I’m almost there.
“No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear.” (1 Cor. 10:13)