May 5, 2012
There is a concert going on at the college down the street. I think it’s called Agape Fest. They are broadcasting it on the radio. So I’m sitting out on the bleachers – trying to imagine being at the concert right now!
I think about all the musical fests I’ve been to in my life. And the role music has played in my life. I guess I started in high school at Christian music festivals. I remember a 4th of July thing I went to for a few years. It was awesome! But after high school, it turned into raves and techno music. All dressed up in visors and big baggy pants with tube tops. The raves were about drugs and dancing. Then there was Jazz Fest in New Orleans.
Once again – it was about drugs and getting lost in the music. That was one of my first experiences in New Orleans where my love for jazz music was formed. But at that point, I wasn’t dancing. All the meth I was using made me so self conscience and insecure. I wasn’t into dancing anymore.
Then there was Cochella Fest in Palm Springs, California. Techno music and drugs – again! I ended up in the emergency room after overdosing on acid. My music events just getting worse and worse.
When did my love for music turn from Michael W. Smith and worship songs to techno and rap?
I can remember in Jr. High when I wasn’t allowed to listen to certain music and I always said, “I don’t listen to the words – just the beat.” But who was I kidding?
The views of the world slowly seeped into me. Listening to words such as “Every day I’m hustling…” and “Riding dirty… riding spinners… riding something…” The more I glorified the life of crime, the more I wanted that life.
Whoever says that music doesn’t influence us is WRONG! What you put into your ears and eyes is what will come out your heart and mouth.
Praise God my love for Christian music is greater than any of my other options My love for music made a full circle with my life. And each phase of my life was reflected by the music I was into at the time.
I cannot wait to be at Christian music fests. I can imagine being there right now. VERY SOON it will be a reality. GLORY TO GOD!
Wow. Shauna – I want to commend you for walking faithfully beside your sister all of these years and sacrificially taking the time to post each and every one of her letters/emails. I stand in awe of you and your family just as I do Randi and her walk and testimony. I saw that she may be released on the 25th and was unsure if she would be getting letters. Does she have to go to the halfway house also as part of her release plan? Today, we “discovered” her blog through friends on facebook. I served time in Alderson, WV. I have sat here throughout the day reading pretty much all the blog posts. Wow – is our God faithful. I have posted many links on my own fb page and many of our sisters who were with me in Alderson have read her writings today as well. Please know that we have been moved by the MINISTRY of this blog. That is what this has been – your ministry – behind the walls and outside. I have no idea how many lives you all have touched by obediently posting since the inception of this blog in 2007 – but I am sure the Lord knows even if ya’ll don’t until Heaven! What an amazing testimony. What an amazing walk. So many of the posts reminded me of my own walk. I have been so encouraged! I am writing a book – have been for the last year – and I was unsure how to share what God did in Alderson. How could I ever get someone to UNDERSTAND His faithfulness and how HE “shows” up and MOVES in such power behind prison walls – in such supernatural ways!! And Randi – your writing and testimony shows that in such a humble and transparent way. I cannot wait to put “pen to paper” and pull out my own writing from that time! WOW! Anyway – thank you for being such a blessing – Randi, Shauna, your entire family!! God bless you.
As someone who has “made it” by God’s grace – it was over six years ago that I left Alderson and it was over 2 years ago that I was released early from probation…please be encouraged that with HIM you will not only make it – but experience His abundant life this side of the walls. Just keep your eyes upon Him. He does the rest!!
Your sister in Christ,
Suzanne