February 23, 2012
“God guides us, despite our uncertainties and our vagueness, even through our failings and mistakes… He leads us step by step, from event to event. Only afterwards, as we look back over the way we have come and reconsider certain important moments in our lives in the light of all that has followed them, or when we survey the whole progress of our lives, do we experience the feeling of having been led without knowing it, the feeling that God has mysteriously guided us.” – Paul Tournier
I’ve been writing my story down lately. I started a few weeks back and it is so much fun remembering all the times God called to me and spoke to me – throughout my addiction and through my incarceration. How He has guided me, even when I didn’t know it.
When I got to the time I was arrested, I got excited! It was like I was reliving it again. I was full of joy, remembering those days when I gave my life back to Christ. If anyone’s been following the blog from the beginning, you’ll remember how I ran around the dorm like a crazy cheerleader singing church camp songs as they popped in my head!
I remember some of the revelations I received that first year as God was re-revealing Himself to me. And what’s so amazing is how 3 1/2 years later – He still reveals Himself to me in new ways! I can honestly say these have been the best years of my life. And I think my 30s will be even better!
As I just reread that sentence with tears in my eyes, I am amazed how the best years of my life have been spent in prison. But its not about where I am. It’s about how I got here – and what God has done here. And how my need for Him is so great – that He is the only One who could fill the void I was searching to fill!
Oh how great is His love for us! He never turns His back on us – even when we turn ours on Him!
“And the Lord shall guide you continually, and satisfy your soul in drought, and make fat your bones: and you shall be like a watered garden, and like a spring of water, whose waters fail not.” (Isaiah 58:11)