This is a poem that was written by a friend of mine here. Her name is Tami Jones. She is a great writer and writes books from prison. This poem is about the program we are in. It does has a few inside jokes, but I know ya’ll will enjoy it.
Twas the night before RDAD I was totally freaked. – My dorm 2 friends were clowning. They said it’d be bleak.
But I packed up my locker to give it a try. That year off was calling. I’m not gonna lie.
I figured I’d scam it to make my way through. It was forty short weeks give or take just a few.
I had Mrs. Johnson. They said, “She don’t play. You better say what you mean, and mean what you say.”
So, in orientation, I spoke not a peep. I just sat in the corner while other people dug deep.
But they weren’t having it. Oh no, they were not. When I shared a few things, they said, “That’s all you’ve got?”
Pretty soon, I was talking. It all just came out. “Guilt, get thee behind me,” I heard myself shout.
And soon, I moved up and learned RSA’s, doing one every day all through that phase.
Until I started feeling like I was a pro. Then Ms. Seely gave feedback and said “These all blow.”
Okay, she didn’t say that. It was just my belief that I rationalized away like my guilt, shame and grief.
When Mrs. Garrison came, we sure did have fun. We were laughing so hard, I’m surprised work got done.
Then, one day was rotten, I wanted to quit. I just couldn’t deal, I was throwing a fit.
They said I was struggling, to keep pushing through. They said, “We’ve all been there. It isn’t just you.”
So, I just kept plodding and moving along. It this didn’t kill me, it would make me strong.
Next, I was headed into phase 2B. “This phase should be cake,” my friend was saying to me.
But boy was she wrong. It wasn’t at all. We got pulled up for sharing. How the mighty fall.
A fifteen page paper we all had to do. Yes, we learned our lesson, and you would have too.
They said I was unhealthy, though I could still change. Just be more assertive. It won’t always feel strange.
“Now, on to transition,” I said with a smile. “I’ve been trying to get here for quite a long while.”
On my relapse scenario, I relived my past. I didn’t enjoy it and did it too fast.
But Mrs. McCammack said, “This just won’t do. Think it through harder. I’m counting on you.”
Then onto release plans A,B,C and D. It was starting to look like I’d one day be free.
And then, just like that, it came to an end. “That went super fast,” I said to my friend.
And now that it’s over, it wasn’t too bad. If you just don’t count up all those pull-ups I had.
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