I’m really struggling with getting along with my roommate. She’s been here almost 2 months now and she refuses to learn the rules. Let me rephrase that… she knows them… but doesn’t follow them.
A huge part of my program is holding each other accountable. We do this for multiple reasons. #1 being that if we can’t follow the rules here – how will be follow them out there… even the little rules like locking your locker or having more than 2 pieces of fruit.
The other main reason for holding people accountable is to practice our assertive communication. This is huge for me because I have never been assertive. If something bothered me – I just overlooked it or put up with it. And this has been very irritating for me the past 3 years when I had a roommate that sang along with the headphones…off key… or a roommate that was loud when I was sleeping. Before, I would have huffed and puffed or taken a loud deep breath. But never would I have asked them to be quiet… after all – this is prison and you can just deal with it.
But it’s different here. People respect each other and it is appropriate to address behaviors that are bothersome. And it is expected to address when someone is struggling with one of the 8 attitudes of change (which is what we base our whole program on.) They are responsibility, caring, gratitude, humility, willingness, open-mindedness, objectivity and honesty.
And being that I am further along in my program than my roommate, I am expected to point out her struggles to her. But I have to do it EVERY day and I kinda feel like a nag. She doesn’t even try to correct her behaviors and this is causing me to build resentments toward her because I feel like I am putting more into her program than she is.
I know that God placed her in my room for a reason. And I try extra hard to be nice to her – but I can’t even begin to explain how hard it is some days.
The scripture that gives me the most comfort right now is Proverbs 24:10 “If you faint in the day of adversity, your strength is small.”
I know I have to get past these feelings I have toward her or I will not be able to help her and I will hinder myself from growing. I will always wonder what I could have done differently to make a difference in her life. So I know I gotta try a little harder at loving the unlovable.