I want to share another time when God let me know that He was listening and that He was watching. Like I said in my last blog, I had a girlfriend in the county jail. And we would sit at the tables all day making cards and crafts, flirting and dedicating every song that came on the radio to each other. It was mushy stuff like what I did in 8th grade. We were so “in love.” After all, we’d known each other for 3 whole weeks!
That’s what happens when 2 women are in a romantic relationship. Women crave emotional intimacy so you get a double portion of emotions and drama!
Anyway – so we started plotting a rendezvous to the bathroom for a make out session for the next day. I wasn’t completely comfortable with this idea and was very convicted about it when I laid down that night. I said my prayers and was about to go to sleep when I was led to open my Bible. I opened to Psalm 19 and when I got to verse 13, I broke down in tears. It says:
“Keep back your servant from presumptuous sins; let them not have dominion over me: then I shall be upright and I shall be innocent from the great transgression.”
Here I was planning to sin one minute – then coming to talk to God before bed like i wasn’t doing anything wrong.
I started praying this scripture “Lord don’t let me willfully sin. Please keep me from doing this. I know its wrong. Help me to be strong because I cant do this on my own.”
Sure enough, not even 10 minutes later, this girl got in a fight with the guard over something I cant remember and she ended up getting taken to isolation. I was amazed at how quickly God worked on my behalf.
She ended up staying in isolation for most of her stay. I was so thankful that the physical part of our relationship was not able to escalate. But we had an emotional relationship through letters and that is just as dangerous.
This is something I will never forget. How quickly He removed her from the picture when I prayed according to His Word. But also, how months later when I prayed that He bring her back to jail, He didn’t!
It reminds me of Matthew 7:9-10: “If your children ask for a loaf of bread, do you given them a stone? Or if they ask you for a fish, do you give them a snake? OF course not!”
In fact, if what we are asking for is not God’s will, and would turn out to be a “snake” He will guard us from receiving it as well. And that’s what he did for me. He gave me what I asked for according to His will. And He kept me from receiving what was harmful to me.
And that’s the awesome grace of our Lord Jesus