I didn’t ask to be a leader. I’m not good at it. I don’t like speakingup. I don’t like taking charge. And I sure don’t like having to make executive decisions. But, unfortunatlly I signed up for all of this when I agreed to direct the choir.
Now don’t get me wrong, I love almost everything about the choir. I love to sing. I love to teach new songs. And I love helping these girls learn how to harmonize. I love it when the church gets on fire for the Lord when were singing cuause it means the spirit is using our voices to bless god and bless others. You know God is blessed when the holy ghost fills the whole room!
There is so much I love about choir. But then there are times when drama breaks out- there is tension evident between two choir members- people quit coming to practice- and it’s up to me to straighten it out.
I keep the choir covered in prayer- but satan always tries to find a way to sneak in and mess things up. And he has been trying to use a choir member for a few months now. And I have been trying to overlook the attitude, the sarcastic remarks, and the tantrums. I was “feeling” from the devil- I wasn’t “resisting” him.
And last week when she threw one of her tantrums and got up and left right after the church service started, because she didn’t get to sing her solo the wy she wanted, I had to speak up. I had to make my firstexecutive decision.
I told her I didn’t want her doing anymore solos as part of the choir, I wasn’t going to put her in front of the church anymore. I expectmy choir members to set good examples in and out of the church. I expect the to “live lives worthy of the calling they have recieved” (Eph 4:1)
I told her it was up to her whether she stayed in the choir, but I wasn’t giving her anymore solos.
I put a lot of prayer into this “talk”. I’m just not good at confrontation. I’m not good when it comes to words coming out of my mouth. They never come out as intended.
But it didn’t really matter wht I said, because the next day she was telling everyone she got kicked out of the church.
And that is prison for you. You can always expect your words to be twisted and for rumors to get started. I am confident that I did the right thing. And God knows what I did and what was truely said. But it is still so frustrating when something like this happens.
I just have to always remember what the word says: “Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.” (James 4: 7-8)
I’m glad to hear you are keeping the Lord in your heart. I still sometimes miss the gatherings we had in LA., and think of you often. It is sometimes very difficult to stand up in A crowd that is supposed to represent the Lord and speak up against UN-christian like behavior, especially when you don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings. However, when you are representing the Lord sometimes you are called upon to make difficult decisions. Stay strong, and God will continue to bless you with the strength to make the right decisions, and the ability to handle them gracefully. Keep on singing, and may God bless you and the choir. God continues to bless me every day, and I don’t let a night go by that I don’t give Him praise and thanks, even when trials and tribulations come my way, He provides me with the strength I need to make it through. love you, Kelli