I was released in January and a lothas happened to me. I walked out of jail as a free woman. When I opened the front door and took a good look the free world wasn’t the same. Everything was different. The sky was clear and I didn’t hear anything. I felt scared and alone. Then, I saw my father. He hugged me and we walked to his truck. On our way back to Lafayette he asked me if there was anything I wanted. I couldn’t think of anything. I didn’t want to eat or drink. Everything I said, I wanted to do wasn’t important any more. I closed my eyes and started to pray, I asked the Lord why am I so scared. Please take my fear away. I wasn’t sure what I was scared of or why. That night I had a wonderful time with my boys! Sunday we went to church. Everything was great!! Until I ran into some old friends and started drinking again. With the drinking I started taking pills again, stopped going to church, stopped praying.
Then one day I was driving and was lost and confused about my life. I saw a church and something in my heart told me to stop. So I did, I walked in and started praying for everything I had done. This little elderly woman came up to me and I told her my life story. I started with me being incarcerated and meeting Randi, until now. She told me the day I was released I was scared of myself having to fight the devil alone. Without Randi to remind me and keep me on track. It’s easy to stay focused when you are incarcerated. The real test is in the free world. Sin is everywhere!!
Now I pray every morning and every evening not to lose my focus. This is the prayer that helps me: Dear God, Help me to remember that whenever I become careless about fellowship with other believers, I am moving away from you. Forgive me for the times I have become detached from your body, the church. Help me to stay connected and committed and love your church the way you do.