It is Monday morning and we have just finished Bible Study. I wish I could see the weather outside. I have not looked up in the sky for 3 weeks now. It has been raining. We only get 2 hours a week to go outside and I always go outside to get some fresh air.
I love the outdoors so much and the life I was living has kept me locked up for way too long. I cant wait to go spend time with my daddy! I’ve always been a daddy’s girl – and I miss spending all my free time with him! I cant wait to go fishing with him. We love to fish and it brings tears to my eyes this morning just thinking about all the years I have neglected spending time with him – helping him. I used to love to help him work on cars in his shop. My daddy can fix anything – he is the smartest man I know and he has taught me so much growing up. I used to hunt with him and spend time at the hunting camp. Those were truly the best days of my life. I have wonderful childhood memories at home with my 2 sisters Stephanie and Sharmon.
I thank God every day that they did not turn out like me. I thank God that they do not have the disease of Addiction.
This disease does not discriminate and will destroy the best of people. I’m the only one in my family that it had a hold on but God has kept His hands on me. He never left me. I left Him.
I can honestly say today , it is all because of Jesus that I am alive. I am so thankful for this jail today. As hard as it is being away from my family – it was for the best because I may be dead today if I would not have come here when I did.
October 18th 2007.
I am a walking testimony for real and I want to share with the world how God has saved my life and brought me back to him. He has gotten my full attention!
I got a blessing today – I called my mom and I got to talk to my big sister Stephanie. i have not seen here in these whole 11 months and she asked me to put her on my visiting list. I was so happy just to hear her voice on the phone and I am so excited to see her. I got to see my baby sister – Sharmon – a few weeks ago and she is as beautiful as ever. God is truly busy in my life!
I want to thank Shauna for allowing us the chance to share all that God is doing for us here in jail. You are truly a blessing to me. Randi is doing great. She is a great person and she has such a wonderful spirit that lights up this awful place. We believers do stick together behind these walls. Randi came to church with us Sunday and we had a wonderful time worshiping and praying. I even gave a small testimony and sang “Amazing Grace” God has gifted me with a voice and I plan to use it to praise Him.
We do not have any air today! And we are all HOT in here! They won’t open the door because we might get to see the sky. All there is out there is a fence with wire and razors on it – and miles of gardens! Everyone is complaining right now because we have to be fully dressed in our green state clothes and they are HOT!
Lauren is bucking and raring back and Randi is cheering. She thinks she is at church camp – I think its the heat! I’ve got my pants rolled up as high as they will go but it is not working to cool me off. I move so fast I’m hot all the time so now I’m sweating. All we can do is wait for someone to realize we need some ventilation. the smoke is so thick – it is retarded in here!
Fred is an inmate that controls the air and they are looking for him to fix it for us. I hope they find him soon. Pray for us to get some air!
Tomorrow is commissary day and I thank God for my mom and dad’s thoughtfulness to send me money to order the things I need to survive in this place. I’m truly blessed to have my parents help. Thank you Mom and Dad – I love you so much!