August 9th, 2008
I have never enjoyed sitting in the sun as much as I do right now. When I walked outside, the first thought in my mind was “Where are my Gucci Sunglasses?”
But shortly after adjusting my eyes, I realize that I dont want to shade my eyes from the only sunshine that I get to enjoy all week long. This is my 3rd Saturday morning that I am spending in our small rec-yard with a basketball hoop (no net) and a small patch of grass, surrounded by tall wired fences with spiral barbed wire at the top. Even with the loud roar of the air conditioner units and the parking lot full of police cars, we sit out here in the sund and sing loudly to the song on the radio…
“Is there hope for every man?
A solid place where we can stand…
In this dry and weary land
Is there hope for every man?
Is there love that never dies
Is there peace in trouble times?
Jesus help us understand..
Is there hope for every man?”
Right now I live in a Christian dorm. With other Christian women who have good hearts, hoping hearts. Women who have come here under the same circumstances as myself. And even under these circumstances, everyone’s spirits are high, faces are smiling, and thoughts are focused. Focused on what God has done in our lives. What God is doing in our lives, and what God is going to do in our lives.
“Let this old life crumble, let it fade.
Let this new life offer
be your saving grace.
Let this old life crumble let it fade.
You’ve been living on your own feet for too long…
If you’ve been looking for a place where you belong…
You will find rest.
You can rest.
You will find Rest.”
That is the song that they sing along to on their radios.
The Christian dorm that I live in is the only women’s dorm here at West Baton Rouge Detention Center.
Housed in this room with me are 35 other criminals. Every one of us has our own different story. And although our lifestyles varied before we came here, it all came down to one thing:
We were all living ungodly lives.
We all knew that what we were doing was wrong.
And not one of us would have realized it and changed our way of life if we werent put in here.
Now we all share a different view of life. We all have one thing in common:
We want to better ourselves, get our mind right – so that when we do leave this place we are prepared to face the world and all it has to offer. We dont want to ever come back to this place.
For some of us, it is not time to leave yet. We still have a lot to learn, and a lot of searching to find our purpose before it is safe for us to be back in the real world. We are here for a reason. Everything happens for a reason. And right now what we are supposed to do is WAIT.
Wait for what?
That is not for us to know right now.
“Be still and know that I am God.”
We will wait for our prayers to be answered. Thats all we can do from behind these bars. Just wait.
This is our prison.
This is where we live.
This is what we have learned.
This is our Reality.