Now I’ve been thinking about my family and all. Looking back how hard my dad worked to take care of his 3 kid’s he raised on his own until later on down the line. My dad is a good man with a great heart who had done so much to keep me and my 2 brothers with him after my mom died. I’m truly wanting my dad to know how much I care and love him for all that he has done for me in my life growing up and how thankful I am for always being there when I needed him. But now I feel things have changed between us since I’ve been in jail and I pray he’ll forgive me. I don’t blame him for where I’m at only myself do I blame. I wish he would have been there for me in the good and bad times, even with me in jail, when I’m needing his help the most and knowing he still cares and loves me.
I want my kids and family to know that when I get released from here I’m going right into a treatment center to help me in order to live right and work on getting a job. I want my 2 daughters to know I love them and care and I am doing this for me and to help me get back into their lives again being their mom and a grandparent to their kids! I need their forgiveness also and for them to keep loving me and care about me because I am their mom who truly needs them also and in my life always for good.
Yes, I cry at night over them and it hurts knowing I’m the cause who pushed them away because of my drinking problem and the hurt and pain it caused them seeing me like the way I was. Now that’s all going to change and they will see it in person coming to see me in treatment working with me to bring us back together again as mother and daughters. I’m going to do whatever it takes to be back in their lives and staying straight, sober and clean by the grace of God I will do it and things will be so much better and happier for us all. I am very thankful to be alive and not dead and this is my only and last chance to show my 2 daughters and dad to have them all back in my life again.
Before I did the treatment for others , this time I am doing it for me because I want it and a much better life to live and be happy doing it not drinking which go me know where but in trouble or jail and that no kind of life. I have been sober and clean from drinking a month and I feel good about it and think much clearer, plus I feel better about myself. I’m truly a good person sober and don’t get into trouble. I know there’s a reason the Lord Jesus had this all to happen and it was to save me and my life. I’m always giving God thanks because to me this is a blessing in some way.
I have also been going to AA meetings and church in here and it has helped me a lot. I so much want to also thank my 2 daughters for everything they have done for me before and caring and loving me as heir mom. I want them to know how very, very proud I am of them and what they have done with their lives and way of living. The best part of it they didn’t turn out doing the things I have done. When I was drinking I was a mean person. I’m so sorry for what all I have done to everyone who I’ve hurt and pain I have caused from it. I am asking if they all would please find forgiveness in your hearts to forgive me and try giving me a whole new start in their lives with them all and let me for once to show and prove to them I am a good person and changed. I would love to hear from them and see them again in my life.
I believe in my heart and faith the Lord Jesus will help me in this all, because this is not all about me anymore. It is about my family and about God now.
Thank you all for reading this and I hope it has touched everyone who has ever had someone in your family that has this same problem. Don’t turn away from them help them getting the help they truly need in a treatment center because jail isn’t it.
Once I am out it’s not about going home , I am going into treatment to help me and praying to be around my family once again staying sober and clean for good and in church and most of all keep working the steps and thanking God who is my higher power to see me through this all. I thank God for whoever’s heart he has touched from this and their help in prayers and all.
Carolyn H Karras