I left Greenville yesterday afternoon.  I am at the transfer center in Oklahoma city.  I was here 2 years ago when I left Carswell.  It hasn’t changed much.  I’ve known that I was leaving since Thursday last week although I still don’t know why I am here.  All I do know is that I am headed back to West Baton Rouge.
I think that not knowing what’s going on has been my biggest fear.  I’ve let the “what if’s” run through my head over and over.  I fasted on Saturday and Sunday cause I wanted to be prayed up for whatever God has in store for me.
I’m excited cause I’m headed back to the place that I found my way back to God.  County jail is where my new life began.  I just know that God’s got a good plan in all of this.
Every once in a while a thought will creep in like “What if this is a new charge?”  And I have to rebuke it in the Name of Jesus!  Cause God didn’t give me a spirit of fear but one of power and love and a sound mind!  I’ve been stuck on that scripture in 2 Timothy for the past few days.   I guess because it’s not very often that I am overcome with fear but this trip has me kinda shaken up.
I thank ya’ll so much for your prayers right now.  I need them!  I will have a new address for a while.

We are asking all that read Randi’s Blog to pray.  We can’t go into any detail at this time.  She is being moved this week and we are not sure where she is being moved to.  Do not send mail to the Illinois address.  Pray for her strength as she faces the unknown and for God to work a miracle for her.

It is so much easier to talk about love and quote scriptures about love.  And say I am a loving person.  But it’s not about what I say.  Love is an action word.  It is a choice I have to make.  It might not be something I feel like doing, but I have to decide to do it anyway.  I was just reading I Corinthians 13.  Love suffers long.  Love is kind.  Love bears all things and believes the best of people .  Love puts up with Everything!  I’ve got to get all that rooted in my heart.  I have not been being loving toward my roommate.  I have felt she is in the way.  I’ve seen her as an inconvenience instead of a person.  I’ve got to change that or this is going to be a long 18 months.  “Lord, please forgive me for that.  Help me to be the loving person you made me to be.”  I am going to try to let love be the motivating factor in everything I do.

“Know therefore that the Lord your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commands.”  Deuteronomy 7:9

Faithfulness not only to me but to the generations after me.  That is God’s promise… His love and faithfulness to my children’s children.  That is a GREAT promise!  That’s how it is in my family.  I can remember going to a small church with no air conditioning when we would visit my great grandma Davis.  And she passed the torch down to my grandma-then to my mom and it has been passed to me too.

“Life is no brief candle to me.  It is a splendid torch…and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it over to future generations.”  George Bernard Shaw      That quote is great because you have to shine bright so your children will see and want what you have.  Thank you mom for shining your light for us!

On Sunday, John Hagee preached about the Second Coming and the Rapture.  Then he read from Ezekiel 37 about the valley of dry bones.  Last week at church somebody read about the dry bones as well.  Any time I hear scriptures over and over again, I try to listen for what God may be trying to tell me.  I kept thinking “Am I dry Lord?”  I have been feeling stagnant lately.  I haven’t been sharing my faith with anyone.  And everywhere it is being preached – He is coming soon!  This is it!  This is the time to win souls.  This morning I opened up Proverbs 11:30.  It says: “The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life, and he who wins souls is wise.”  I know what I’m here for, but for some reason I’m having a hard time coming out of my box.  Maybe its because I have to watch what  I say in group therapy lessons.  I can’t offend anyone’s religion.  The thing is – everything I think, do, and say is about God.  I know what I’m supposed to be doing.  And I want to win souls.  But i think the only way I can do that here is by the way I live.

I came back to my room to take a nap after I watched John Hagee this morning and everyone is still sleeping.  I had just crawled into bed when someone on the phone started screaming, “NO…NO.”  Then she was wailing.  People started waking up and running into the hallway to see what was going on.  At least 20 people went out there.  Everyone cared.  Everyone wanted to comfort her.  That is the amazing thing about this community.  There is so much caring and love for one another.  So much support.  I didn’t go out in the hall because I know there was nothing I could do for her.  So instead I got on my knees and prayed.  I could hear her screaming and she got so sick that she threw up.  I just kept on praying until they took her to the clinic.  My eyes filled up with tears because I could feel the pain she was going through.  We share each others pain.  If one of us goes though something, the whole community goes through it.

Jesus said to “share each others burdens.” And what I just witnessed really brought those words to life.  This the 3rd death that we’ve had in the one week that I have been here.  I know that death is a part of life.  But it is still so hard to accept and deal with.  It brings me great comfort to know that if anything happens to my family we know where we are going.  And death in this life is only the beginning of eternity with God!  If anybody is reading this and is not 100% sure that you know where you are going when you die, I pray that you will examine your life and change what needs to be changed.  Get in touch with Jesus and rededicate  your life to Him!  Life is a gift from God and you don’t know when your time is up.  So Be Ready!!

Every morning during the week we have a “community meeting.”  It is a time for everybody who is involved in RDAP to meet and hear announcements and have some what of a pep rally.  They start off with someone giving their life story in 15 minutes.  Then we   do positive affirmations, a word of the day, praise reports and “pull ups.”  A pull up is when you see your sister not exhibiting the attitudes that are expected of us.  The 8 attitudes are: caring, honesty, humility, responsibility, gratitude, objectivity, open-mindedness, and willingness.  We are expected to point this out to each other privately and if it continues we are to bring it to the community.  During the meeting they also share a current event article that exhibits one or more of the above attitudes and then they do a skit that introduces the game for the day.  The skit has to say “What time is it?”  Then everybody knows its time for the game.

Well last night I found myself in the room with the girls trying to come up with a skit.  And being the cheerleader that I am, I showed them a cheer we used to do that said, “It’s time to get live – It’s time to represent Greenville – What time is it?  They loved it and this morning we put our hair in high ponytails and dis spirit fingers and high kicks and got up in front of everybody to do a cheer!  Talk about being a a real pep rally!  And to top it off-for the game we did the Hokey Pokey and got to dance around!  However weird this may sound, I am enjoying myself here.

Hey everybody.  I’m finally getting settled in here at Greenville.  I had a nice trip as a free woman on the greyhound bus.  I got to do lots of cool things like use a cell phone, spend money, and see my dog Skylar.  This place is so different than Carswell.  The first thought I had when I walked in the door was “I’m at Vacation Bible School.”  The walls are decorated there are bulletin boards everywhere that get changed out regularly.  There is one wall covered with hand prints of the women that have graduated.  The lockers are painted with bright colors – suns and moons and stars.  There is a horticulture department and we have beautiful live plants all over the place.  I have one right by my bed.  It doesn’t seem like a prison at all.  It’s more like a treatment facility.  My dorm has 144 people.  We are split up into 4 “Alleys.”  Each alley holds 36 girls and is split up into 16 rooms with 2-3 girls each.  The 36 of us share a bathroom.  This morning I felt like I was living in a college dorm.  All the people in the bathroom at the same time getting ready for work.  It kinda made me smile since I never lived in a college dorm.  I have to say this is a lot like college.  Everyone is always doing homework or going to classes.  I can’t wait to start.  Some people talk about how they struggle with all the papers they have to write, but I am good at writing.  Especially about what I’m feeling or going through.  So I don’t think I will have any problems there.

They set very high standards for us.  Its not just a set of rules we have to follow.  It’s about having integrity and being honest too.  There are some pretty petty rules, like not being allowed to share anything.  Not a piece of candy or a spoon of coffee.  Not even a piece of floss.  But it is the little things like that that make you honest with yourself.  Everybody holds each other accountable.  I am excited because I want to live my life with high standards and what a better place to start than with women who are working toward the same goal as me.  I don’t think I will get in to the next class like I hoped, but I am glad I am here.  I like being surrounded by people who want to be better, not people who are forced to do it.

I am finally on my way!  I am currently sitting on a greyhound bus driving through Missouri.  It’s my first bus ride.  I’ve traveled a lot by airplane and I wasn’t expecting this.  I thought I’d be able to sleep the whole ride, but it’s 6 am and I’m wide awake!  My body is following its daily routine.  Ignoring the fact that I only got 3 hours of broken sleep last night.

There have been some interesting people riding with me.  I overheard one lady talking on the phone saying “I thought the trees would have turned blue and green by now, but they are still brown.”  I laughed and thought about the day that my trees were blue.  Bless the Lord my trees are not blue anymore!  Everybody gets off the bus at every stop and smokes cigarettes.  Then they come back reeking of smoke.  Praise the Lord I have not craved it!  I was prayed up on that.  I know that my first opportunity would be this trip to screw up and I didn’t!  I’m delivered from smoking!

When I first got to the bus station I felt a little awkward.  It was weird being around people.  I didn’t know what to do with myself.  I was afraid to talk to anyone because I wasn’t sure how much I wanted them to know about me.  But I finally opened up and relaxed.  There are some people that just need someone to talk to and although I’ve never been much of a talker, I am a good listener.  I’ve had all kinds of treats that I haven’t had in close to 3 years: Goldfish crackers, KitKats, Grapes, and Apple Juice.  And let’s not forget McDonalds!  Well my trip is coming to a close.  The next stop is mine.  I think I will spend the next hour in prayer for the next chapter in my life, which begins today.

I’m back.  We just ad another stop to get gas and I had to do a little bragging on myself.  I went in to get coffee and I spotted the lottery ticketed machine.  And I still have some money left.  Oh I was so tempted to buy some scratch off tickets and I resisted!  This is kinda a big deal for me cause I was a scratch off fool!  How ever much I wanted to spend my money I didn’t.  I’m sitting on the bus thanking God for the strength to give up all my addictions.  Even the small ones that I didn’t consider a problem, like gambling.

It is Wednesday, March 9 and I am a little disappointed, I thought I was leaving today.  But I am still here and getting a little down.  I am having to borrow soap and shampoo from my roommates.  I feel like such a mooch.  Yesterday, I spilled gas/oil mix all over myself and had to come back to shower and wash clothes.  I am sometimes a little stupid and I washed all my clothes together with the gas filled clothes.  So of course now all my clothes smell like gasoline and I am having to wear them because I don’t exactly have more to wash.  I have one set of clean clothes and then I’ll have to wash again.  Lord, please let me leave tomorrow.  I do not want to stay through the weekend unless it means I’m leaving with Daisy.  Then I can wait till next week.