Every morning during the week we have a “community meeting.”  It is a time for everybody who is involved in RDAP to meet and hear announcements and have some what of a pep rally.  They start off with someone giving their life story in 15 minutes.  Then we   do positive affirmations, a word of the day, praise reports and “pull ups.”  A pull up is when you see your sister not exhibiting the attitudes that are expected of us.  The 8 attitudes are: caring, honesty, humility, responsibility, gratitude, objectivity, open-mindedness, and willingness.  We are expected to point this out to each other privately and if it continues we are to bring it to the community.  During the meeting they also share a current event article that exhibits one or more of the above attitudes and then they do a skit that introduces the game for the day.  The skit has to say “What time is it?”  Then everybody knows its time for the game.

Well last night I found myself in the room with the girls trying to come up with a skit.  And being the cheerleader that I am, I showed them a cheer we used to do that said, “It’s time to get live – It’s time to represent Greenville – What time is it?  They loved it and this morning we put our hair in high ponytails and dis spirit fingers and high kicks and got up in front of everybody to do a cheer!  Talk about being a a real pep rally!  And to top it off-for the game we did the Hokey Pokey and got to dance around!  However weird this may sound, I am enjoying myself here.

Hey everybody.  I’m finally getting settled in here at Greenville.  I had a nice trip as a free woman on the greyhound bus.  I got to do lots of cool things like use a cell phone, spend money, and see my dog Skylar.  This place is so different than Carswell.  The first thought I had when I walked in the door was “I’m at Vacation Bible School.”  The walls are decorated there are bulletin boards everywhere that get changed out regularly.  There is one wall covered with hand prints of the women that have graduated.  The lockers are painted with bright colors – suns and moons and stars.  There is a horticulture department and we have beautiful live plants all over the place.  I have one right by my bed.  It doesn’t seem like a prison at all.  It’s more like a treatment facility.  My dorm has 144 people.  We are split up into 4 “Alleys.”  Each alley holds 36 girls and is split up into 16 rooms with 2-3 girls each.  The 36 of us share a bathroom.  This morning I felt like I was living in a college dorm.  All the people in the bathroom at the same time getting ready for work.  It kinda made me smile since I never lived in a college dorm.  I have to say this is a lot like college.  Everyone is always doing homework or going to classes.  I can’t wait to start.  Some people talk about how they struggle with all the papers they have to write, but I am good at writing.  Especially about what I’m feeling or going through.  So I don’t think I will have any problems there.

They set very high standards for us.  Its not just a set of rules we have to follow.  It’s about having integrity and being honest too.  There are some pretty petty rules, like not being allowed to share anything.  Not a piece of candy or a spoon of coffee.  Not even a piece of floss.  But it is the little things like that that make you honest with yourself.  Everybody holds each other accountable.  I am excited because I want to live my life with high standards and what a better place to start than with women who are working toward the same goal as me.  I don’t think I will get in to the next class like I hoped, but I am glad I am here.  I like being surrounded by people who want to be better, not people who are forced to do it.

I am finally on my way!  I am currently sitting on a greyhound bus driving through Missouri.  It’s my first bus ride.  I’ve traveled a lot by airplane and I wasn’t expecting this.  I thought I’d be able to sleep the whole ride, but it’s 6 am and I’m wide awake!  My body is following its daily routine.  Ignoring the fact that I only got 3 hours of broken sleep last night.

There have been some interesting people riding with me.  I overheard one lady talking on the phone saying “I thought the trees would have turned blue and green by now, but they are still brown.”  I laughed and thought about the day that my trees were blue.  Bless the Lord my trees are not blue anymore!  Everybody gets off the bus at every stop and smokes cigarettes.  Then they come back reeking of smoke.  Praise the Lord I have not craved it!  I was prayed up on that.  I know that my first opportunity would be this trip to screw up and I didn’t!  I’m delivered from smoking!

When I first got to the bus station I felt a little awkward.  It was weird being around people.  I didn’t know what to do with myself.  I was afraid to talk to anyone because I wasn’t sure how much I wanted them to know about me.  But I finally opened up and relaxed.  There are some people that just need someone to talk to and although I’ve never been much of a talker, I am a good listener.  I’ve had all kinds of treats that I haven’t had in close to 3 years: Goldfish crackers, KitKats, Grapes, and Apple Juice.  And let’s not forget McDonalds!  Well my trip is coming to a close.  The next stop is mine.  I think I will spend the next hour in prayer for the next chapter in my life, which begins today.

I’m back.  We just ad another stop to get gas and I had to do a little bragging on myself.  I went in to get coffee and I spotted the lottery ticketed machine.  And I still have some money left.  Oh I was so tempted to buy some scratch off tickets and I resisted!  This is kinda a big deal for me cause I was a scratch off fool!  How ever much I wanted to spend my money I didn’t.  I’m sitting on the bus thanking God for the strength to give up all my addictions.  Even the small ones that I didn’t consider a problem, like gambling.

It is Wednesday, March 9 and I am a little disappointed, I thought I was leaving today.  But I am still here and getting a little down.  I am having to borrow soap and shampoo from my roommates.  I feel like such a mooch.  Yesterday, I spilled gas/oil mix all over myself and had to come back to shower and wash clothes.  I am sometimes a little stupid and I washed all my clothes together with the gas filled clothes.  So of course now all my clothes smell like gasoline and I am having to wear them because I don’t exactly have more to wash.  I have one set of clean clothes and then I’ll have to wash again.  Lord, please let me leave tomorrow.  I do not want to stay through the weekend unless it means I’m leaving with Daisy.  Then I can wait till next week.

Hi – Just wanted to give everyone an update that Randi is on the move to FCI Greenville in Illinois.  They put her on a bus yesterday around 5pm and she was on her way!

Please be praying that she gets in the very first RDAP program.  If you are wanting more details on the RDAP program – go check out some RDAP FAQ’s here.

Our hope is that she will complete this 9 month program – be transferred back to Dallas – and released into a halfway house! How wonderful would that be!?!  The idea of having my sister half-home in a year or less is overwhelmingly wonderful!

I have some good news and some answered prayers to share with yall. So let me start a few months ago when i had my RDAP (drug program) interview and got accepted.

I immedietly started praying to leave fast. I asked yall to pray for me also. I was ready for change and i wanted it fast.

At the same time I started praying for a pianoist to take my place when I leave.

So, last monday I got a job change. I had been working in welding for a yearand sometimes they just switch your jobs so you don’t get to comfortable.

At first, I was not looking forward to a new job- I almost threw a small fit. But then i remembered i had been praying for change. okay God, very funny!

Be careful what you ask for cause you might just get it. And God’s ways are not our ways. His thoughts are higher than our thoughts. He gave me exactly what I asked for, just not the way i expected it to come. So from that moment I started to see my new job as a blessing. The days will go by faster. I will get ti leave the compound for a few hours each day. The job is on the airforce base. We clean buildings and do the landscape. So, it is a privilage to get to work on the base. I haven’t started yet so i can’t tell you if I like it or not. But i’m sure I will!

The dy after I signed my job change papers, I found out that a girl transfered from another facility and she was the praise and worship leader there and plays the piano! OH PRAISE THE LORD! Answered prayer number two. I’ve been singing with her all week. If they would let us we would hang out in the chapel all dayand worship God! It’s amazing when you are singing with someone that is spirit filled because you can feel the presence of God all over!

So, we have been getting to know eachothe rand i’ve been praying that she’s the one to take over the choir when i leave because were gonna need someone now, considering I signed my furlough papers yesterday to leave for RDAP! I wasn’t supposed to leave till march but now I leave in the next 30 days! This is totally a God thing! There are girls that should be leaving before me. But i have favor with God and a whole bunch of people praying with me. I haven’t been able to quit beaming and thanking God since i signed my name! I was so excited when she said ” RDP Furlough” that i forgot to read what i was signing…oops!

I kinda think God was just testing me with the job change, he wanted to see if i was gonna complainor be mad about it. And i didn’t, i gave him the glory for it. Then he gave me my huge blessing!

So, that’s my awesome christmas present, PRAISE GOD!

I don’t know if I will ever be able to comprehend how much God has done for me.  I know I’ve said this before and it still rings true – Prison is the best thing that has ever happened to me in my 28 years of living.  I have learned more life lessons here that I did living in the free world.  I think most of that had to do with the fact that I would make the same mistake over and over again because I had no desire to change.  I never fixed my mistakes because I was selfish and wanted things my way.  And if it didn’t go my way, I’d just try to get my way again.  It usually didn’t work out well for me.  But it’s hard to make the same mistake twice now.  I’m quick to admit when I’m wrong.  And a lot of prayer goes into every move I make.  Therefore I learn quickly.  So God can move on to the next lesson and we can stay on the fast track!

Anybody who has been keeping up with me on my journey through prison knows that Christmas is my favorite time of the year!  I love everything about it – the lights – the trees – the music.  I love the decorations and the special candy that we only get during the holiday and of course presents are nice too.  But I never truly understood the meaning of Christmas until I came to prison.  I can rememer the moment it hit me.  It was Christmas morning at the county jail.  I was the only one awake, sitting at the pink table listening to Christmas music, reading my Bible, when the song Emmanuel came on.  It said: “Emanuel, God is with us, He came to save us.”  And I realized that moment that it was a celebration because God came to us in the flesh.  And has been with us in Spirit ever since.  A lot of people think that presents are the meaning of Christmas and I think it’s a great thing to give presents.  We are to imitate God.  And God gave us the greatest gift of all – His Son.  So we should give freely to others.  “Freely you have received freely give.”  Matthew 10:8

Merry Christmas!!

It is  beautiful  outside.  The weather is getting cooler.  I’m sitting at a picnic table doing my Bible study.  We did our Jericho walk this morning.  It’s just amazing meeting for prayer outside under the tree while it is still dark.  It’s so peaceful and I can feel God’s presence all around!  The song on the radio right now says, “Speak…You have my attention Lord.”  This is an amazing song!  Oh wow  – the sun is fixing to come up and I have a great seat this morning.  I can’t wait till the day I can sit in a lawn chair or porch swing and enjoy a sunrise Bible study with my mom.  Here it comes.  The multitude of colors is amazing.  I am in awe of God’s creation.  Even the slight breeze grazing  my arms – I know that it is Him.

The Psalm of Ascent I am studying this morning is Psalm 131. “Lord, ,my heart is not haughty, nor my eyes lofty: neither do I exercise myself in great matters, or in things to high for me.”  This is a song of triumph.  It speaks of humility, which is the greatest triumph of all!  Prison sure is a humbling experience!  The next verse says:  “Surely I have behaved and quieted myself, as a child that is weaned of his mother, my soul is even as a weaned child.”  I have felt like a child on more than one occasion.  At face value – I am treated as a child.  I’m told what to do, when I can do it, what I can have, when I can sleep and wake up.  And if I don’t do it how I’m told, I get in trouble.  And being punished like a child, when you are an adult is not fun.  Once again- it is very humbling.  But if I look a little deeper, I no longer feel like I am treated as a child.  I become childlike.  I want to submit to authority.  I want to submit to God.  I want to have a childlike faith, submitting to my Father’s will.  I no longer want to be self-willed like I was when I was living life my own way.

The last verse says, ” Let Israel hope in the Lord from henceforth and forever.”  This is a great Psalm to start my morning!  Too bad the compound is waking up and moving around – so the peaceful morning is coming to an end.