Macy and I made this video post about prison life and thought you might enjoy it!

Macy & Shauna talk about Prison Life from Shauna Callaghan on Vimeo.

We were talking today about why God allows us to go through trials and one of my friends said she wouldn’t want to be the only one in Heaven without a story to tell.  I absolutely love that!  When we all get to Heaven we are going to be sharing our testimonies with everyone we meet!  And it would be awful to not have gone through anything with God!  Praise God that He brigs us through the fiery furnace of affliction.  And more Praise and Glory be to God that we come out refined and purified!

I Peter 4:12-13 says:  “Do not think it strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened to you; but rejoice to the extent that you partake of Christ’s sufferings that when His glory is revealed, you may be glad with exceeding joy.”

I had an interview for the puppy training program today.  I was very nervous.  I haven’t applied for a  job in over 2 years.  My people skills are not what they used to be.  I used to be able to sell myself at anything I applied for.  I was good at what I did and I had the skills and experience to do the work I did.  But I am really disappointed in myself.  The interview was not easy.  Maybe it was because I didn’t know the extent of the position I was applying for.  I thought they just trained the puppies.  I wasn’t expecting a lot of the questions they asked.  And I didn’t know answers to some.  It bothers me that I was so nervous.  I kinda feel like I am getting stupider!  My social skills are getting worse.  I have been taken out of society and I don’t get to practice professionalism anymore.  I have only been locked up for 14 months and I am already forgetting how to interact with professional people.  This is not good.  I can only imagine what I will be like when I get out of here!  I need to find a way to improve my speech and my job skills….. and not forget the proper way!!

I know I have said before that I have had a bad choice of boyfriends, but that wasn’t always the case.  Sometimes I was a bad influence on them.  My last boyfriend didn’t eve smoke meth until he met me.  I was an addict, I smoked every day and eventually he smoked it because I did.  He told me once that he would marry me if I wasn’t on drugs.  I didn’t understand it then because he was on drugs too.

But now I do.  I was a totally different person on drugs than I am now.  I made myself miserable therefore any one around me was miserable as well.  I was selfish.  I thought that everything should revolve around me.  I thought that my ideas were always the best and my ways were always the smartest.  Boy was I wrong!  My way didn’t work at all!  God says “My thoughts are higher than your thoughts and my ways higher that your ways!” (Isaiah 55:9)  I only wish that I would have known then what I know now.  Actually I did know it, but I did not comprehend it.  I did not receive it. 

Praise God that he has opened my eyes and “restored unto me the joy of His salvation.” (Psalms 51:12)  And He says to “forget what is behind and strain forward what is ahead.” (Philippians 3:13)  And God is truly helping me with forgetting everything I was involved in because I am having a hard time putting a lot of it into words.  I thing a good way to sum up my past is to say I started off as a user and 6 years later I was selling pounds of meth.  It was a slow fade.  But this drug took complete control of my life.  But I have my life back now.  Jesus said, “I have come that they may have life, and have it to the fullest.” (John 10:10)  So even though I have lost my life in the free world, I have gained eternal life.  And whether I live as a prisoner or as a free woman, I am living my life for God.  And that is living it to its fullest!

I started hanging out at the dope man’s house every day.  I was working at a restaurant as a waitress.  And when I wasn’t working, I was getting high.  I would help him get supplies to cook the meth.  Therefore, I never paid for my drugs because I was helping.  I used to go “pill shopping” for him.

Letme explain.  If you have ever wondered why you have to buy Sudafed from behind the pharmacy counter, this is why.  Back then, I could go into any grocery store, Walgreens, Target or Dollar Store and buy 10-15 boxes of generic Sudafed.  I would scope out the cashiers on my in the store and if they were really young or really old, I would feel comfortable buying as many boxes as they had.  A middle aged cashier might ask questions, so I would only buy 5-6 boxes.  There were no regulations then.  It was fun and a rush.  I knew the more pills I bought, the more dope I’d got.  I would go store to store and come back with 50-100 boxes of pills a day.

When the government finally got smart and put a 3 box limit per customer, I would bring a friend and hit every store in Lewisville, Grapevine and sometimes Irving.  Now you can only get one box per customer from the pharmacy.   And that’s why.  The pseudo-ephedrine is used to cook meth.

Soon enough I started dating one of the dope man’s friends.  About 2 months after we started dating he had court for a prior manufacturing of meth charges.  He was sentenced to 4 months jail time and 7 years probation.  So while he was in jail, I enrolled in massage therapy school and I moved back home to my parents house and I told them I had been on drugs, but was sober now and my boyfriend was in jail.

I fell in love with him while he was in jail.  He made me believe he was done selling drugs and he wanted to get a real job when he got out. He sure had me fooled.  When he got out of jail he immediately wanted to get high.  One thing led to another and we were cooking meth in our apartment kitchen.  After about 2 years, we broke up, I moved into my own place and his house was raided.  He went to jail again, but this time I continued to use meth.  I was hooked.  I had been fed meth on a daily basis for 2 years and now I had to find it for myself.

When I could not find it, I would not get out of bed.  I eventually met other dealers and other users.  These were the people I ran around with.  By the time I was 23, just about all my friends in Dallas were drug friends.  I tried to avoid my family at all costs.  And when I was with them, I was watching the clock, waiting to get away so I could go get high.

I weighed 100 lbs - so skinny – but you couldn’t tell me nothin!  I thought I looked good.  And I used my looks to my advantage.  I can’t say I ever sold myself for drugs, but I dated only drug dealers.  Therefore, I got free drugs.  If you didn’t sell drugs, I didn’t want to date you.  I was spoiled.  But I wasn’t about to pay for my drugs.  I always told myself, “The day that I have to start paying for my drugs is the day I will stop doing them.”

Well I’m paying alright – I’m paying a huge price for all the free drugs I did.  And I stopped doing them as well.  Funny how that happened huh?

To be continued….

Shauna came to see me today and she said I needed to write more.  She said she still gets questions about how a sweet little Christian girl, like myself is doing 7 years at a federal prison.  And now that I am sentenced, I can go into more details about how I got wrapped up-tangled up- and tied up in the drug world.

I remember the summer that I first tried meth.  It was the summer I turned 19.  I remember that summer because it was my last year as a camper at Sooner Youth Camp.  I remember stopping by the “dope man’s” house on my way to camp in Oklahoma.  He sent me with a glass pipe that was loaded with meth, ready to smoke.  So off I go to church camp with drugs in my glove box.  Of course I did not use them while I was at camp.  But I had them and that was bad enough.  But I didn’t think about it then.  Camp was amazing!!!  I left on a spiritual high and I wanted to go share my spiritual high with the dope man.  I didn’t share my high with him, I traded my spiritual high for a temporary high on drugs.  I let the devil take over from there and I didn’t even think twice about being at church camp just the week before.  All the devil needs is a foothold.  And I opened the door wide for him to come right in!

Hey Readers!!  I am finally settled in at Carswell.  And I have so much to be thankful for.  If I ever thought I was at church camp… it is now!  We get to be outside all day long.  I don’t have a job yet so I am just soaking up the sun…relaxing… feeding the squirrels out of my hand.  I have been walking the track in the mornings, praying and singing.  The track goes down by the lake.  Yes… we have our own lake and this morning the fish were jumping around. 

I joined the church choir.  The religious library is awesome.  I can watch sermons on my free time and there is a piano I can play on as well.  I haven’t played in years but I’m sure it will come right back to me.

Well let me tell y’all about this place.  It really does not feel like a prison at all.  The housing is like an old motel.  I share a room with 2 other women.  We have our own air conditioning, a bathroom with a tub and shower,   and a little kitchenette with a sink and counter.  The campus is not fenced in like the medical center.  We have he freedom to walk off the base if we dare…but of course the escape charges are not worth that! 

We have 3 different workout rooms, a weight room, a leisure library and a religious library.  The religious library has walls and walls of sermons by TD Jakes, Kenneth Copeland and Joyce Meyers.  I can go watch them on my free time.  There is a track to walk on and a softball field, soccer field, and 2 volleyball courts.  Oh, and horse shoes of course!

  The food is great here.  We had french toast and sausage for breakfast on Labor Day and pork chops for dinner!   That was the holiday meal-but the other meals have been real good as well.  It’s a good thing they have a workout room…cause I might just gain a few pounds the way I’m eating.  I don’t have a job yet but when I do I will write all about it.

God is so good.  And I give Him all the glory for all the good things in my life right now.  “Rejoice evermore.  Pray without ceasing.  In everything give thanks:  for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.”                                (I Thess 5:16-18)

“Oh that thou wouldest bless me indeed, and enlarge my coast, and that thine hand would be with me…And God granted him that which he requested.”  (I Chronicles 4:10)

God is blessing me indeed!  This is a new scripture for me and I have been praying the Jabez Prayer everyday since I read it in Oklahoma.  And let me tell you how God is blessing me!  For starters, I am back in the DFW area!  The biggest blessing of all because I will see my family more.  I got a bottom bunk and my money was transferred here in time to make commisary.  I have a great bunkee who is a prayer warrior!  I get to stay outside all day long!  We have puppies running around the camp being trained.  And birds and squirrels too.  Oh it’s so great!  We even have our own lake.

My mom is in town this weekend for the holiday and I put her on my visitation list but my counselor told me it wouldn’t be approved until next week.  But my God is a way maker!  So this morning, Terry (my bunkee) and I walked the track and prayed.  We prayed that God would make a way for my mom to be allowed to visit.  Then we walked over to the chapel and the cleaning ladies informed me who my mom needed to contact to get approved.  Then at 3 pm, Terry came and told me the counselor was looking for me.  She said, “It’s got to be about your mom… let’s pray before you walk over there.”  So we prayed ” Lord bless me indeed.  Thank you for your favor.”  And sure enough, he had me fill out another visitation form.  Other women have told me that this counselor processes his paperwork right away.  Where as my counselor does not and he is not working today, so I get to go to this one.  Therefore, my mom will be approved to visit this weekend. 

So to top it all off, as I was walking back to my room – Thanking God – a girl stopped me and gave me a whole bunch of clothes.  Sweat pants and sweatshirts and a t-shirt.  Wow God!!! He is awesome!  He says in Zechariah 9:12,  “Turn you to the strong hold, ye prisoners of hope; even today do I declare that I will render double unto thee.”  The New Living Translation puts it this way:  “Return to me, O prisoners of hope and I will restore two blessings for every on of your troubles.”  Oh yes Lord!! He promises double for our trouble!  That’s a promise I stand on!

Hello All,

Just wanted to let you know that Randi has been transferred to a women’s prison in Ft. Worth, TX. She is now at Carswell Federal Medical Center & happy to be there.  Well, as happy as she can be. I have talked with her twice since she got there and my mom was able to get a special visit on Saturday while she was in town. I hope to visit this week if they get me approved on the list.  Federal prison sounds like it is a lot better than her living conditions over the past year. I will let her tell you about it but I just wanted to give you an update!

Please pray for Randi as she gets acclimated to new people and new surroundings.

I am so excited to see my sister and hug her neck in the next few days!

I am finally in transit!  Praise the Lord!  I am hoping to be transferred this week.  I’ve been preparing for this since I got sentenced.  I sent my books home and I’ve already cleaned out my drawer.  It is most definitely time to go!

This has been my “home”  for the past 13 months.  Although I have lots of memories here…I’m not gonna miss much about this place.  The thing I will miss the most is Vickie!  She has been here for me the whole time.  I know she is a gift from God.  We hold each other accountable and encourage each other.  We know each other’s thoughts before we think them.  I couldn’t have done this time here without her.  We laugh together and cry together.  Then we use our frizzy hair as a distraction to turn a cry into a laugh…  “Your hair is so ugly”  really means “Help…I’m crying…make me laugh.”  I will never forget that.  But it’s only something we understand because one time we were trying to turn another girl’s cry into a laugh- but she didn’t think it was very funny when we told her that her hair was ugly…actually I think it made her cry more.   I guess it is so funny to us because if we were out in the free world our hair would be smooth and straight…looking good.  But in jail – it doesn’t matter how our hair looks.  We know how bad our hair is…we wash it on Mondays and take a comb to it about every other Monday.  So it is an ongoing joke about our frizzy hair.

I am going to miss praying togetheras well.  We constantly stay in prayer for one another.  And with Nathali and me both leaving – we have been worried that this dorm would be consumed by all the darkness and evil.  But God is faithful!  He has a plan and he is already setting up the dorm for our departure.  Just last week.  Keosha joined the West Baton Rouge Parrish Family.  She is bold in the Lord and knows the word.  And her bunk is right beside Vickie!

Thank you Lord!  He knows what we need before we even ask Him.  My prayer for Vickie is that she is accepted to work release for the remainder of her time.  And also please lift up a special prayer to restore her mother’s health.  James 5:16 says “The prayers of a righteous man are powerful and effective.”  Thank ya’ll for your prayers.  And get ready to join me on my journey at a Real Prison!