Good morning Friends!

I just wanted to say THANKS again for all of your love and support for Randi! Please keep her in your prayers this week. Also, please keep us – her family – in your prayers. The initial feelings of all of this were traumatic and heart-breaking. Then…we kind of came to grips with it all and it was a little easier for a few weeks. I know for me, it has gotten pretty tough again. I am sure that this is normal. It can just be overwhelming some days to be so powerless in her situation.

And we miss her.

So…thanks for praying for us and keeping us in your thoughts. It really does mean a lot to us all that there are people we have never even met reading this and praying for our family. It’s amazing. God is good.

***

I wanted to give you another piece of information that you may or may not use. Randi has a phone account that we have to put money on for her to be able to get in contact with us. I havent heard her voice in about 4 weeks so I was about to put a little money on it (we are selling some of her things to do so) and I thought – maybe my blogging buddies would be willing to put money on this account occasionally.

If you can – great – if not…no big deal.

There is a minimum of $25 that you can put on the account. And there is a $4.50 processing fee.

The phone number to do so is: 877-273-5012

Please email me for the Pin # if you are going to put money on her account.

***

Thanks again for being a wonderful family of support for us!

Love you all!

It’s midnight at I cant sleep. For some stupid reason – I slept all day – only getting up to eat – and for an ice coffee at 10pm! So – needless to say – I am amped up!

Yesterday, I got my “discovery”. I think that is part of the reason I slept all day today. Although I cannot go into any details about the discovery – what it revealed really hurt! The life style I was living was so dirty! And all the people I associated with were just so dirty!

I never understood why people are so selfish that they would put someone else in jail because they got into trouble. Some would refer to these people as a “rat.” I never understood the concept of blaming your sins on someone else…on someone you have always called friend…or someone you were sleeping with…on someone you were living with…or in some cases in here…on someone you were married to!

Why do people have to be so selfish and hypocritical that they will do drugs and sell drugs – but when they get caught and it comes time to pay the consequences – all of the sudden – it becomes someone else who made them do it!

They don’t want to be in trouble – so they “rat” on someone else…that someone else being me.

Sinning in here knowing that I was betrayed by someone I trusted and cared about just really hurts! It is hard not to be angry – but I am not. I have accepted the fact that I was still sinning – and now I am being punished for it. I can accept that. And I can take whatever comes my way.

But it just hurts! It hurts that my freedom is at the will of what someone else says about me.

That is scary!

The justice system is just as dirty as the lifestyle that I was living. My sentencing is all going to depend on how much information I can provide the government with on other people involved.

But that is not how my mind works. That is not how I live.

I was brought up where when I was bad – I was punished.

I didn’t get punished for what my sisters did or what my friends did. I got punished because I was a bad kid!

And as an adult, I still feel the same way – I know what I was doing was not right. And I know there are consequences. But I don’t think anyone else deserves to be punished because I got caught.

I am a little worried about what kind of time that I might be looking at because not everyone has morals like I do. Most people will jump on a “GET OUT OF JAIL FREE” card any day!

But I don’t live that way.

Randi
9/5/08

I feel like telling you a little bit about my sister, Randi, today. I have been worrying about her non-stop over the past few days because of Gustav. I thought it would make me feel better to tell you some of the wonderful things about her!

So – here goes:

1. JOBS: Randi’s first job was at Putt-Putt golf when she was like 14. They made her a manager also. What 14 year old is a manager at Putt-Putt?! She waited tables for years and years – at places like Cotton Patch Cafe, Bennigan’s and Chili’s. In 2002, she went to Massage Therapy School and is a registered Massage Therapist…maybe not registered right now – but she was. She has worked for an IT company for the past year or so as an Administrative Assistant.

2. EDUCATION: Randi graduated high school in 2000. She didn’t want to live in a dorm in college so she was kind of limited on her college choices. She ended up moving out to Abilene where I was going to college – and she attended a community college there. She also had college credits before she ever went off to college. She is actually pretty smart (for making some dumb choices). Love you, Randi. She always wanted to study Accounting, I think. Then – like I said before – she did MT school.

3. FOOD: Randi is really picky. She loves ElChico’s queso. Salads from Chili’s with only lettuce, cheese and ranch. She LOVES Chicken Express…any time she is in Dallas – she would hunt down the closest one and get herself some chicken. I am going to cry. OK….I can do this!

4. BOYS: Randi has clearly had terrible judgment in boyfriends over the past 10 years. If anyone has a son, brother or whatever – we will need to work on that in the future. I think we may do background and reference checks from now on.

5. SOCIALLY: Randi is fun! In high school, Randi was a cheerleader. Growing up – she played Soccer & is really musically inclined: she played piano & percussion(for a little while). I want to say she was in the band in Jr. high??!?!? My mom will have to help me out here. We were really involved in our youth group at church. And we spent tons of time as a family growing up. We would go camping a few times a year or to the river together.

6. HUMOR: One of the things that I love the most about Randi is that we have the same sense of humor. So if you think I am weird – you should see and hear us together. We have already had a few conversations on the phone (that are all recorded) – where we had to give a disclaimer that we were just kidding and not really going to bust her out of jail! I mean – I watch a lot of Prison Break but we just aren’t really that gutsy!

7. BEAUTY: Randi is stunningly beautiful! She has a beautiful face with piercing greenish-yellow-brown eyes (not kidding- they are so light green that they are almost yellow sometimes)…her and I don’t really look too much alike – which is weird…my parents say that we are sisters…but sometimes I look at her and look in the mirror and wonder if they are just making that up. JK. I really do just think she is so pretty. Whether she is in her fancy $200 jeans or her prison “scrubs” – that is what I prefer to call them!

8. FAMILY: Randi comes from a great family – especially her older sister, Shauna! JK! Anyhow – Our parents have been married for 29 years. Our mom has worked in Education for ever – from teaching Kindergarten and 1st grade – to being a principal – she is currently in administration. You will hear more from my mom in the future – she is brand new to this whole blog thing! She is learning! Anyhow – our dad is wonderful too – he works for a national “snack” company – as the boss! Yes – that is how I picture you dad…as the boss. We also have a younger sister, Ashley. She needs to get on here too. She is 21 & has a daughter who is 2. The more that I think about it – we were very close knit as a family unit. We spent a ton of time together & there was a lot of love. And still is. Obviously!

I am sure you are tired of reading this post as it is getting kind of long and wordy…but I want to say this in conclusion:

I was put on the stand a few months ago in Baton Rouge & the prosecutor tried to convince me of how dangerous it would be to take responsibility for my sister and have her living in my house – if released on bond. I just wanted to yell at him and tell him – YOU DON’T KNOW MY SISTER!!!! YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT HER! I KNOW HER! Because I do. We know how soft Randi’s heart is. And what is instilled deep deep within her. Now – let me say – we are all ok with the fact that she stayed in a little longer – we know that God has to have had a plan with all of it. But we are ready for her to come home for a while before she goes to prison. Please be praying for this. I think that they are going to try to appeal her bond and see what comes of it!

Anyhow – there you go!

If any other families of the women on here are reading and would like to send me one of these for them – that would be great – we would love to hear about your moms, sisters, daughters!

It has been a month today since the night I got arrested.

Tonight is only the 2nd time that I have been sad about the fact that I have no control over what happens in the free world.

I talked to Shauna today and all my stuff from Phoenix arrived at her house today (including my puppy, Skyler) and we only got to talk for a few minutes because I ran out of minutes on my calling card. But from what she was telling me, I don’t think a lot of my stuff made it from Phoenix. And it really makes me sad when I picture people packing my stuff up for me and they have a “Randi Box” and a “Keep for Myself Box.” Its like they think I’m dead. Like I’m not ever going to get out or something. I know its just stuff – and it was probably bought with “dirty money” – but it was still my stuff.

And it breaks my heart to think about how much I’ve lost by coming to jail. I guess that just comes with the game that I was playing.

“Ill gotten treasures are of no value.” Proverbs 10:2

I know that one day, my treasures in heaven will be far more than anything I acquire here.

“Sell your possessions and give to the poor. Provide purses for yourself that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will not be exhausted, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys. For where your treasure is, your heart will be also.”

That’s what I know I have to look forward to. Since I have been doing drugs, I have lost so much. And if you ask me if it was worth it – what do I have to show for any of it?

Oh…let me see….A criminal record!

Which is not exactly what I had in mind.

What matters now is that my puppy is safe with my sister – I hope…hopefully the kids will fall in love with Skyler and Shauna will not leave the gate open again because she would just break their hearts if she took another pet from them! JK. I forgive you for letting Ginger run away. But it might be a little different with Skyler – under the circumstances.

The bright side of this is that Shauna has a ton of new shoes. Kip has a new X-box and some new tools. And the kids have a new pet! And I know they will love and spoil him like I did. And I have prayed and prayed and prayed that he will be good and not bite anyone. So – I think he will be!

Oh – I feel so much better!

Although I am sitting in my bed crying right now because I miss my dog so much.

I feel so much better because I know that whats done is done. There’s no changing the past. And there’s no looking back.

There is hope for the future. Whatever it may hold. Thank you all for your prayers and support! They are much needed and trust me – prayers are being answered behind these bars! Everyday. And that is awesome!

Randi
8/19/2008

As I carefully pulled off tendons, ligaments, spinal bones and fatty tissue from my turkey neck tonight at dinner, I tried to imagine it was simply brisket and I smothered it in ketchup in order to make it edible. Saturday meals consist of fruit loops for breakfast with 2 bisquits and apple jelly. Lunch today went straight to the trashcan – Turkey Liver, mashed potatoes soaked in turkey grease – some might try to call it gravy, corn bread, squash and watered down kool-aid. And then – to top off the day – Turkey Necks, white rice, greasy gravy, lima beans and more corn bread.

Oh my gosh – I used to be a picky eater. Anyone who has ever been out to eat with me knows that when the waitress gets to my order she has to take out the pen and paper and write it down.

“None of this. Extra that. Can I get my soup extra runny? And my chicken extra crispy? No Dr.Pepper? I’ll take Sprite. You only have Sierra MIst? No, change that to Coke. Only Pepsi? No, just give me water.”

Pretty typical of what I go through at a restaurant.

But I’ll tell you wat. That has all changed. Instead of bisquit and gravy, we just get bisquits. They spoil us with jelly on the weekends. Instead of cinammon apple oatmeal, we get grits. Sometimes they even put butter in them. Or at least I think its butter!

For lunch during the week, we have sandwiches everyday. Bologna or ham, a scoop of peanut butter and jelly mix, a scoop of mayo/mustard mix and lettuce. At least they give us a choice, huh?

On Wednesdays, we get spoiled with hotdogs and stale french fries and chili. I learned how to make cheese sauce out of crushed cheese puffs and hot water. So – we have chili cheese dogs and chili cheese fries. Oh – it is heavenly! But then they go and turn the chili into spaghetti sauce and feed us chili spaghetti and corn bread on Wednesday night for dinner.

The rest of the week is red beans and rice or turnkey legs or wings.

Oh – but last Sunday night – we got pizza! And jail pizza is GOOD! It was very filling so everyone had an extra peice that we put in a ziplock bag and saved for later! (I had 3 pieces!) And sure enough – that same night they decided to have our first “shakedown” where they raided the whole dorm and they threw all the pizza away. It was like Katrina all over again! They will not let us enjoy the food here! The one time that we did – they took it away from us!

Its a good thing they cant take our commissary from us! We get pretty creative with it too.

Crushed cheese puffs, water & doritos make chips and queso!

Oreos, duplex cookies and snickers make a chocolate brownie birthday cake!

Chili-Lime Ramen noodles, peanuts, cheese and nacho jalepeno chips make mexican casserole!

Ice, chocolate milk and water make chocolate milk shakes!

Moral of the story is: You dont want to come to jail if you are a picky eater!

Randi
8/16/2008

About 5 years ago, I was invited to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting with my HR Manager at my job. We spoke periodically about my “boyfriend’s” drug addiction. She told me how AA was not just for addicts, but also for their families as well. Her son had a bad drinking problem and she said going to the meetings helped her understand and cope with his problem.

I dont remember benefiting much from the meeting then. But I am pretty sure it was because I was not ready to quit doing drugs myself. I never returned to AA.

It was never presented to me again until I started participating in the Bible study here. We read a story from “AA in Prison: Inmate to Inmate”. And I though maybe I should go again. Maybe being that I was sober, and I do seek sobriety – I could benefit from AA. And moreso, it was something to do. An hour in a classroom rather than being stuck in our smelly dorm.

So I went. I listened. And I got the “12 Steps Book.” I know that I dont want to do drugs anymore! Never in my life have I been so sure of something as I am now! What I felt 5 years ago was the complete opposite of what I feel now!

My addiction took over my life! Maybe not in the way it does most people because I thought that I lived a pretty normal life.

I held a full-time job. Went to work everyday. I might have been late – everyday – but I went everyday. I paid my bills. Fixed my credit. Had my own place, a nice truck that was my own – and I slept every night. I thought I was pretty normal.

My addiction was part of my daily routine. I had “control” over the drugs…I thought.

But that was so far from reality! Not until now do I realize that everything and everyone that I neede din my life – I avoided.

I feel closer to my family now than I have in 5 years. I have a stronger-deeper relationship with God now that I have ever had. I have cried out more prayers to God in the last 4 weeks than I have prayed in my entire life.

And everyday in here I see so many prayers answered. Something that before – I didnt have the patience to wait for. It is so amazing – the Power of Prayer! And I never even knew!

So – through prayer and God’s Word, I have already decided 110% that I can be sober. And I cant wait!

Randi
8/14/08

August 9th, 2008

I have never enjoyed sitting in the sun as much as I do right now. When I walked outside, the first thought in my mind was “Where are my Gucci Sunglasses?”

But shortly after adjusting my eyes, I realize that I dont want to shade my eyes from the only sunshine that I get to enjoy all week long. This is my 3rd Saturday morning that I am spending in our small rec-yard with a basketball hoop (no net) and a small patch of grass, surrounded by tall wired fences with spiral barbed wire at the top. Even with the loud roar of the air conditioner units and the parking lot full of police cars, we sit out here in the sund and sing loudly to the song on the radio…

“Is there hope for every man?
A solid place where we can stand…
In this dry and weary land
Is there hope for every man?

Is there love that never dies
Is there peace in trouble times?
Jesus help us understand..
Is there hope for every man?”

Right now I live in a Christian dorm. With other Christian women who have good hearts, hoping hearts. Women who have come here under the same circumstances as myself. And even under these circumstances, everyone’s spirits are high, faces are smiling, and thoughts are focused. Focused on what God has done in our lives. What God is doing in our lives, and what God is going to do in our lives.

“Let this old life crumble, let it fade.
Let this new life offer
be your saving grace.
Let this old life crumble let it fade.
You’ve been living on your own feet for too long…
If you’ve been looking for a place where you belong…
You will find rest.
You can rest.
You will find Rest.”

That is the song that they sing along to on their radios.

The Christian dorm that I live in is the only women’s dorm here at West Baton Rouge Detention Center.

Housed in this room with me are 35 other criminals. Every one of us has our own different story. And although our lifestyles varied before we came here, it all came down to one thing:

We were all living ungodly lives.

We all knew that what we were doing was wrong.

And not one of us would have realized it and changed our way of life if we werent put in here.

Now we all share a different view of life. We all have one thing in common:
We want to better ourselves, get our mind right – so that when we do leave this place we are prepared to face the world and all it has to offer. We dont want to ever come back to this place.

For some of us, it is not time to leave yet. We still have a lot to learn, and a lot of searching to find our purpose before it is safe for us to be back in the real world. We are here for a reason. Everything happens for a reason. And right now what we are supposed to do is WAIT.

Wait for what?

That is not for us to know right now.

“Be still and know that I am God.”

We will wait for our prayers to be answered. Thats all we can do from behind these bars. Just wait.

This is our prison.

This is where we live.

This is what we have learned.

This is our Reality.

Randi