Today is Thursday, December 4th. I want to thank everyone who has been reading our blogs. Sorry there haven’t been as many letters as before.

But God is still here in this place! Every day! And we are on FIRE! Every day!

We get confirmations from Him through His Word all the time. And prayers are being answered. We started praying in groups. Our little corner prays together every day. And let me tell you way – Lisa is growing! She is learning…and she is a praying fool!

She came to the table for count the other day, grabbed my hand and said, “I need to pray,” and she held nothing back! She is bold for the Lord. And she is definitely getting her blessings. She went to court this week and the judge gave her 4 months! So she will be going home in January! Thank you Lord!

Please keep her in the forefront of your prayers so that she leaves here with all of the wisdom and knowledge that she needs so she can take it home to her boys & share her faith with them.

I have a great bunkee and she has grown so much since she’s been here! God truly brings people here for a reason! And He is getting all the glory for whats going on behind these bars!

One of my favorite scriptures that I flipped open to this morning:

“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen!” Ephesians 3:20

Love,

Randi

I think I have finally figured out the motives behind putting adults in jail.

You see, I used to think that jail was just somewhere they throw a bunch of criminals so that they can learn how to be better criminals. As my ex-boyfriend once said while he was in jail, “If I only knew then, what I know now….we could have done….”

But that is far from the case here. This place brings out the child in me. It brings out all my child-like tendencies.

What made me realize this was when I saw a picture that Bae-Bae was drawing of the Little Mermaid. I sat down beside her and started singing,

“I’ve got gadgets and gizmos of plenty.
I’ve got who-sits and whatsits galore..
You want thing-a-ma-bobs -
I’ve got twenty…
But who cares….
no big deal….
I want more…….”

I sang the ENTIRE song with no problems remembering a single word. Then we talked about how we used to play “mermaids” in the pool when we were kids. The memories were so vivid! Oh how I wish I could play mermaids now! I would just swim away…

Anyhow…

Every day we get to go back to our childhood. Most of our time goes by playing arts and crafts. We pull out our markers and colored pencils and make cards, color and make Christmas decorations. Just like a child would do in school.

When we eat – we usually always get to play with our food – tearing our turkey or chicken legs apart. I have to wash my hands, AGAIN, before I even start eating because I make such a mess getting it prepared to eat.

We don’t get napkins – we just wipe it on our clothes!

We have kool-aid to drink every meal. And we are too excited when they change the flavor!

Recess is our favorite time of the whole week – we look forward to the hour we get in the sunshine twice a week! We throw temper tantrums if they tell us we aren’t going outside!

The guards even treat us like children most of the time! Giving us rules…and turning off the TV and phones if we don’t obey them.

Ms. Louis likes to make us sit in the hallway in timeout when we are loud or talk back! She continually has to remind us to be quiet and “GET YA’LLS MINDS RIGHT!!” (We love you Ms. Louis!)

The best part about this place is that we are all babes in Christ! Even though I grew up in the church – I backslid for the past few years. And just like a lot of the women in here – we are all learning or re-learning what it means to be a Christian.

Ever time I open my Bible – I learn something new. Or get a new revelation of a Scripture that I have read before.

I am so thankful that God is such a forgiving God and through His grace, we are able to start anew…with a clean slate – a pure heart – and a child-like mind – excited and willing to grow and mature in a Christlike way – that we have never known before.

“How great is the love the Father has lavished on us that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know Him. Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know, that when He appears, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is. Everyone who has this hope in him purifies himself, just as He is pure.” 1 John 3:1-3

PRAYER: Thank you Lord, for bringing us back to our childhood. So that we can be your children once again. Thank you, Father for your grace and forgiveness, and your laws and your justice.

“Correct me Lord, but only with justice, not in your anger. Lest you renounce me to nothing.” Jeremiah 10:23

Randi Spearman
November 25, 2008

Oh, I am so homesick!

I am tired of being in jail.

Today is my best friend’s birthday – Happy Birthday Mo…I wish I was there to celebrate with you!

I found out that my really good friend Krissy is having a baby! Oh, how I wish I could be there to help her with that too! And Shauna has a birthday coming (I SURE DO, PEOPLE!). My dad’s birthday just passed. My cousin got married. My 7 year old niece is wearing my shoes to church!

And I am missing it all! Life doesn’t stop for anyone else just because it stopped for me!

But this “break” from life has been a blessing – that’s for sure. And although it could be a lengthy break…I know this is what I need.

I got a letter from my best friend from Jr. High. He reminded me about when we led a Bible study at school in the mornings. And about when we went to “See you at the Pole.” He told me that instead of seeing this time as punishment, I should see myself as a missionary.

Thank you, God, for this statement!

When I look at it this way – I don’t get afraid of how much time I am looking at. I don’t worry about a court date. And I am okay with missing birthdays and stuff because I know that bringing people to Jesus is causing a way huge celebration!

Love,

Randi
November 4, 2008

Preface: A few weeks ago, I asked Randi to evaluate her life right now. Examine some of the “apparent” bad stuff – and dive in a little deeper to see what “good” is associated with those “bad” things. Here is what she had to say:

1. I am in jail, at the age of 26.

GOOD: If I weren’t in jail, I would still be out on the streets doing and selling drugs. I would be lonely and depressed because of the drugs. That is way worse than how I feel now. I would not have God back in my life. I would still be running around with no purpose. No direction. No hope. No future.

2. I am facing anywhere from 5 to 20 years in prison.

GOOD: No matter how much time that I get – I know that is how long God has put aside for me to get my mind right. To prepare me. To teach me and to grow me. I can serve God just as well in prison as I can in the real world.

3. I am lonely, scared, bored and claustrophobic.

GOOD: Although I am lonely – I can open my Bible anytime and listen to God talk to me. I can pray anytime and talk to Him. Although I am scared, God has told me “Do not worry about tomorrow. For tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own” (Matt 6:34) He also says, “Do not be afraid of what you are about to suffer. I tell you the devil will put some of you in prison to test you…be faithful, even to the point of death, and I will give you the crown of life.” (Rev 2:10) So -really, I am not that scared. he usually talks me out of that one. Although I am bored – there is stuff to do. I am reading a lot. I am catching up on my sleep. I can write * arts and crafts * and play cards. **I can’t find any good out of being claustrophobic. This room is so small and the air circulation is … well….there is none… umm…but on Tuesday’s and Saturdays, we get to go outside. So Tuesdays and Saturdays are better!

4. I have no “Alone-Time.”

GOOD: Although I am not ever physically alone – EVER – I an put my headphones on and block out most of the noise. And K-LOVE usually puts me in my own little world.

5. The food sucks!

GOOD: But – on Wednesdays, we get hot dogs for lunch! And honey buns on commissary…and I have gained 20 POUNDS! Which was much needed considering, I came in here at 105lbs.

6. All I can do is wait.

GOOD: God has given me the gift of patience. Which is something that I NEVER had before. So – while I am waiting , I keep in mind that I am waiting on God. And that makes it easy to do.

“The Lord is slow in keeping His promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you – not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.” (2 Peter 3:9)

7. I have lost a lot of my best friends.

GOOD: The friends that I lost were not the ones that were good influences on my spiritual walk. The new friends I have made here ONLY want to help me grow spiritually.

8. I am away from my family.

GOOD: I was away from my family before. But now I talk to them every day! And I know now how much I miss them in my life before! And I can’t wait to get out and be with ya’ll!

9. I have lost a lot of my stuff.

GOOD: I wont be needing any of my stuff in here anyway! Shauna got a lot of new things and I know I will have better “stuff” in Heaven.

Wow – there are a lot of positive things to go along with my tough life! And there are probably a lot more. It feels really good to do this. I mean it really just made my day so much better. I wish I would have done this this morning.

Love,

Randi
10/15/2008

I encourage you all to do this today! It is so easy for us to get wrapped up in how life could be so much better and easier. I challenge you to find joy in today! Find joy in right now! Right where God has put you.

I have finally decided to get comfortable with jail – because I feel like that is what I am supposed to do right now. I am getting used to the routine and I am realizing that this is it. Same thing every single day.

I could be bitter about jail – or I can use this time to better myself and prepare for what is to come.

I could worry about how much time I am looking at or about why my court date got pushed back 2 months – but I choose to worship instead because after all -
“He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters.” Psalm 18:16

So praise God for saving me & bringing me here – and for giving me this time to rest and focus and grow and learn.

I also try to enjoy my time instead of just enduring it. I most definitely choose to be joyful. I try to make people laugh – but most of the time, I am just laughing at myself (which usually gets at least a smile out of most.)

I sometimes break into a spontaneous cheer and dance around the dorm. And I even wake up singing songs of praise whenever I can. (Sometimes, some of the guards try to steal my joy by making us sit quietly at the tables for roll call.)

But the joy of the Lord is still my strength.

So, I just say a little prayer for them. And I hope that one day they can find this joy in their lives that I have in mine.

I found a verse yesterday that I absolutely love! “In all our troubles, my joy knows no bounds.” 2 Corinthians 7:4

This is so true for me! In all honesty – because I have joy – and it just keeps coming and coming – sometimes I forget that I am even in trouble. And I know it would do me no good to be angry or negative about my circumstances because it is necessary to go through these hardships in order to grow and mature and learn from my mistakes. I cannot correct the past or change the choices that I made.

But I can plan on taking a different course from here on out! And I don’t even have to choose which course it is. I just need to be still. Listen. And go – wherever the Lord tells me to go.

Isn’t that great that I don’t even have to figure out what my next step in life is going to be. I think it is so great! I am too excited about putting my complete faith and my whole life in the hands of God and letting Him do whatever He wants with me!

Wow! Oh, the places we will go! And until then – I am praying up and pressing in. And practicing a better way of living and thinking. Because – after all – they cant keep in me in jail forever!

Randi
10/15/2008

Randi had a Hearing scheduled for this week – but the date has been changed to December 10th.

We believe that God has many more women headed in Randi’s direction at WBRCC – and He needs her there right now. This also allows her new lawyer to be fully prepared for her hearing.

That being said, it is still disheartening at times to realize again and again that we have no control over any of this.

Randi is in good spirits though! I talked with her last night and she was doing well. She fell off of her bunkbed {again} 2 days ago…they really need to put her on the bottom bunk – this is just out of control.

We also talked on Sunday night and laughed a lot. If you know me or know Randi – you probably realize that we laugh A LOT…especially when we are together…and even if no one else is laughing….

Please keep Randi in your prayers this week & I hope to have a letter from her this afternoon or later this week!

Letter from Randi:

So here’s the deal – Every day we have a head count at 4:45am and 4:45pm. We have to sit at the tables until 5:00 when the shift changes. For the past week I have been praying the entire time I sit there. And I thought it would be cool and powerful if more prayers were beings said at the same time.

So, if anyone wants to pray with me – know that I am praying every day at 4:45 in the morning and the afternoon.

• I pray for all of the ladies in here. That God gives us peace and patience while we are here so that we can get along and be less stressed.
• I pray for all of our families – that He protects them and keeps them in good health while we are away.
• I thank God for this jail…for bringing me to this jail…and for saving my life by removing me from my old ways of living.
• I thank Him for being here with me and for living in and through me.
• I thank Him for His Word so that we have something great to live by and look forward to.
• I lift up all of our addictions to Him so that He might remove our desires for them – and instead turn our desires toward Him.
• I also lift up my case, my lawyer, my judge and my prosecutor. I ask Him to give them compassion towards me and to touch their hearts so that they might see me the way God sees me – not the way man sees me.
• I ask that He lets me go home for a short time to be with my family and I also ask that they do not add any additional charges to what I am already facing.

So, please lift up this special prayer with me whenever you can!

“Yes, and I will continue to rejoice for I know that through your prayers and the help given by the Spirit of Jesus Christ, what has happened to me will turn out for my deliverance. I will eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether it by life or by death.”
Philippians 1:20

Love,
Randi

I think that the worst part of being locked up is the fact that I was so ready to get right with my life – but I kept making excuses and putting it off for just a little while longer.

At the time I got arrested – I already had plans to leave that lifestyle and get out of Phoenix. I missed my family and I knew I didn’t have any kind of future where I was at. So I made the decision to move back to Dallas. I had not officially told Shauna yet – but I packed my whole house up – and even got a storage unit to start moving boxes into so they were out of my way! I had been taking trips to New Orleans every weekend.

The week before I got arrested, I got to join my family in Destin, FL for a week. I hadn’t been with my WHOLE family in years. When I left them in Destin – I knew I had to move back to Dallas ASAP. I had already given my 2 weeks notice at work. I planned on working the week after vacation – then leaving for Dallas the following weekend.

Oh, but the devil wasn’t going to let me off that easy!

On my way back from Destin – I stopped in Baton Rouge to stay with a friend for a few days. I rented a car – which I left with him because his car was in the shop.

So…..sure enough – he calls to tell me that he wrecked the rental car. So instead of driving all of my stuff to Dallas that weekend – I flew back to New Orleans to take care of the rental car and insurance company.

I didn’t even get the opportunity to take care of the rental car because the same night that I flew in – the guy I had come to see had already made other arrangements for me with the police.

So, I came to jail instead. And only now do I realize that God was the one who made these other arrangements for me.

The night before I flew to New Orleans – my best friend’s daughter asked me to take her and her grandma to church that Sunday. I think that God was trying to give me one last chance before He had had enough. And, I refused. So, He interceded. I don’t think that God likes “No” for an answer. He will have His way – especially when I was soooo close to doing it His way.

And I am so glad He stepped in when He did. Although, I am physically in prison – I have never felt so “FREE” from bondage in my life!

Except for maybe back in my days at church camp. And that’s probably why I do sometimes (ok – most of the time) think that I AM at church camp!

Yes, I guess it is being in this one room with all these girls – 24/7. We don’t really have a choice to have a closeness to one-another.

So we make the best of it – we pray together – study together – teach each other – learn from one another. We argue with each other – cry together – laugh at each other – laugh at ourselves. We encourage one another, witness hard to everyone. This is what we do.

This is how we get through the day…

the weeks….

and the months….

that we are here together.

Love,
Randi

Prayers are being answered in my life!

Before I got arrested, I asked God to take certain people out of my life. I knew it was impossible for me to just walk away from my life – so I begged for God to fix it. And although becoming a criminal was not what I had in mind – coming to jail definitely removed me from a life of sin and all the unhealthy relationships I was involved in.

I have finally been able to forgive everyone that has stolen from me and taken advantage of me while I have been here as well. Being unforgiving was only building up anger and bitterness in my heart! And in a place like this – there is no room to be angry!

So, I have decided to let it all go. Up until now, I have been sweating over getting my computer back, and my stuff that never made it from Phoenix — but, I prayed about it….again…and again…and God finally revealed to me that I was to just let it go! Let go! And Let God!!

I had letters written and everything…demanding my stuff be returned to my family! But I ripped them up and threw them away.

And do you know that I haven’t thought about the things that I “used” to have since.

(Although I was browsing through the Sunday paper planning what I am going to have one day when I get out.)

But it will be different because it will be something I have to work for…and save for…Not something that was bought with drug money! And even if I don’t get it in this life – because I know that money will not be falling out of my pockets like it was before – even still – I am ok with it because in Heaven, I will have one of everything – but it will be better than what I had before – better than what I could imagine – it will be a gift that is given to me and will never be taken back! Mine for eternity…there are no Indian givers in heave – that’s for sure!

So, I am finally okay with what was lost. And from now on – there is no looking back.

Randi
9/24/2008

Wow, today has been a powerful day!

Things are happening behind these bars and outside of these bars for that matter.

All of you readers will be happy to know that Carolyn has gone home. She was released on Friday. Please keep her in the forefront of your prayers! I know she is going to be struggling out there and we sure don’t want to see her back here again! (No offense, Carolyn, but we don’t!) Next time we meet, it better be in the free world!

I know she is reading this because she was so excited about getting on the Internet to see what the blog looks like in real life!

Carolyn, stay strong! And stay sober! There is no other way. Remember everything good that you always talked about that you want back in your life so bad! And remember that you cant have it if you let your addiction take over!

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight!” Proverbs 3:5

That is the only way! And don’t give up! God will never throw anything at you that you cant handle! Don’t forget that!

We love you, Carolyn, and you are in my prayers constantly!

Love,
Randi & the A dorm