2/12/2009

On Tuesday, the whole women’s dorm was transferred to another facility so that they can repaint our dorm. We are all settled in now over at Livingston Parish. I was excited about our little “road trip” at first – and there are a lot of good things about this place. ie. We get to go outside every day. All day long – we can come in and out as we please. And the place is really clean because it is a brand new facility.

But for some reason, I am getting depressed here. I don’t know if it is because I am really realizing I am in jail or what? For the past 6 months, I have been at WBRP – I have gotten comfortable there. I have never been to another jail before so I guess I didn’t really feel like I was in jail.

For the past 2 days, I have been able to sleep the whole day away. But today, I am tossing and turning in my bed. So, I got up – went outside with my coffee and started praying.

Of course, tears filled up my eyes – as they are right now.

I said – “God, get me out of this – why am I having such a hard time here?”

I thought to go get my Bible. I grabbed The Message and flipped open to Psalm 34: 15-19

“God keeps an eye on His friends. His hears pick up every moan and groan. God won’t put up with rebels; he’ll cut them off from the pack. Is anyone crying for help? God is listening, ready to rescue you if your heart is broken. You’ll find God right there; if you’re kicked in the gut, he’ll help you catch your breath. Disciples so often get into trouble; still. God is there every time. v.22 – God pays for each slaves freedom; no one who runs to Him loses out.”

So, God answered my prayer quickly. He told me that He is watching. He is listening. And He is ready to help.

- Randi Spearman
February 12, 2009

Update from Shauna:

I talked with Randi on Saturday and Sunday. She is back at WBRP – and I will go ahead and say she is in a bit of a rut. Shocking, I know. It is easy to get discouraged when you have all of the luxuries of freedom and have a group of believers that are holding you up – I know it has to be 100 times easier for Randi to get discouraged. I committed to Randi to start praying for someone to come in that will help lift her up. She is doing a lot of that with the other inmates, and I think she is at a place where she needs some encouragement.

She is so tired of jail and ready to come home. We talked some yesterday about God plans for us. It is rarely what we want for ourselves. And if He needs her there longer – she will be there longer. We can just pray for patience, and listen for God’s direction.

Randi still has not been given a court date. She is just waiting. Gosh, I hate waiting. Don’t we all. I can hardly bear to sit in traffic – and she is waiting on a system, that she has no control over, to decide her freedom. My heart breaks for my little sister today. I want her home. But if she can’t be home, I want her to feel God’s presence and allow the joy of the Lord to be her strength.

John 16: 24 reveals Jesus speaking to his disciples:

“Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete.”

Thanks for your continued prayers and love.

Shauna

For 6 days, we will march around the box one time – then we join hands and close with a prayer. On the 7th day, we will march 7 times, give a loud shout, then we are going to destroy the box and God is going to break down whatever “walls” we placed in the box.

He said, “ask and you shall receive.”

So, we are asking.

He said, “seek and you shall find.”

So, we are seeking.

He said, “knock and the door will be opened.”

So, we are knocking.

I know that God is hearing our prayers! And He is preparing a way from them to be answered.

I will let you all know as soon as prayers are being answered.

I am so thankful for the ladies in this dorm! I could not imagine being in a place like this with out being surrounded by other Christians! God definitely knew what he was doing when He put me in this prison!

Randi Spearman
1-19-2009

But I do work on some of the ladies. My mom sent me a trigger point therapy book. So, depending on what guards are working – I can temporarily relieve some of the pain and stress.

I am glad that I have the medical knowledge of the body because it comes in hand. They say I have healing hands. And, although I will admit that I have good hands & have always been a good therapist – since I have been here I have started a new technique.

I do what I do in the name of Jesus. And I let Him use my hands to do the healing.

Because Jesus said: “And these signs will accompany those who believe: In my name, they will drive out demons; they will speak in new tongues; they will pick up snakes with their hands; and when they drink deadly poison, it will not hurt them at all; they will place their hands on sick people and they will get well.” Mark 16:17

Note: Randi has tried to get input from other inmates dealing with chronic pain and has not been able to do so. If you are or know someone who has dealt with this, we would love to hear from you.

God has a way of making everything fall into place for His glory! Tonight we started a new Bible Study/Prayer group. I have been praying that He will help me keep it going – because most of the women that used to do it have gone home.

I read my Bible every day…sometimes all day…but I have had it on my heart to read at the table instead of in my bed. And, sure enough, tonight God brought a new group together!

We read from The Message & He spoke directly to us about all of the chaos that has been going on in the dorm.

I just love the Lord! I love Him so much that I sometimes am at a loss for words! It makes me so excited when I talk to these ladies about what He’s doing and my excitement is contagious.

It’s so powerful when the Holy Spirit gets me going – cause the ladies really benefit from my joy!

They want to experience it – & I want for them to too – and the only advice I can tell them is to give it all to God! Know that God has brought us together for His purpose – for His plans – for His glory! And when you get your heart set fully on Him – this joy just fills your whole body – your whole spirit!

It’s so great! Praise God!

God is Good. God is Here. And He wants us to encourage each other and help each others faith grow – and to know Him better.

He has made His entrance…and He’s got a lot of work to do in this dorm. I am so excited to know that He has chosen me to help Him get the work done!

I’m all yours, God.

Randi Spearman, January 2009

But God is still here in this place! Every day! And we are on FIRE! Every day!

We get confirmations from Him through His Word all the time. And prayers are being answered. We started praying in groups. Our little corner prays together every day. And let me tell you way – Lisa is growing! She is learning…and she is a praying fool!

She came to the table for count the other day, grabbed my hand and said, “I need to pray,” and she held nothing back! She is bold for the Lord. And she is definitely getting her blessings. She went to court this week and the judge gave her 4 months! So she will be going home in January! Thank you Lord!

Please keep her in the forefront of your prayers so that she leaves here with all of the wisdom and knowledge that she needs so she can take it home to her boys & share her faith with them.

I have a great bunkee and she has grown so much since she’s been here! God truly brings people here for a reason! And He is getting all the glory for whats going on behind these bars!

One of my favorite scriptures that I flipped open to this morning:

“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen!” Ephesians 3:20

Love,

Randi

You see, I used to think that jail was just somewhere they throw a bunch of criminals so that they can learn how to be better criminals. As my ex-boyfriend once said while he was in jail, “If I only knew then, what I know now….we could have done….”

But that is far from the case here. This place brings out the child in me. It brings out all my child-like tendencies.

What made me realize this was when I saw a picture that Bae-Bae was drawing of the Little Mermaid. I sat down beside her and started singing,

“I’ve got gadgets and gizmos of plenty.
I’ve got who-sits and whatsits galore..
You want thing-a-ma-bobs -
I’ve got twenty…
But who cares….
no big deal….
I want more…….”

I sang the ENTIRE song with no problems remembering a single word. Then we talked about how we used to play “mermaids” in the pool when we were kids. The memories were so vivid! Oh how I wish I could play mermaids now! I would just swim away…

Anyhow…

Every day we get to go back to our childhood. Most of our time goes by playing arts and crafts. We pull out our markers and colored pencils and make cards, color and make Christmas decorations. Just like a child would do in school.

When we eat – we usually always get to play with our food – tearing our turkey or chicken legs apart. I have to wash my hands, AGAIN, before I even start eating because I make such a mess getting it prepared to eat.

We don’t get napkins – we just wipe it on our clothes!

We have kool-aid to drink every meal. And we are too excited when they change the flavor!

Recess is our favorite time of the whole week – we look forward to the hour we get in the sunshine twice a week! We throw temper tantrums if they tell us we aren’t going outside!

The guards even treat us like children most of the time! Giving us rules…and turning off the TV and phones if we don’t obey them.

Ms. Louis likes to make us sit in the hallway in timeout when we are loud or talk back! She continually has to remind us to be quiet and “GET YA’LLS MINDS RIGHT!!” (We love you Ms. Louis!)

The best part about this place is that we are all babes in Christ! Even though I grew up in the church – I backslid for the past few years. And just like a lot of the women in here – we are all learning or re-learning what it means to be a Christian.

Ever time I open my Bible – I learn something new. Or get a new revelation of a Scripture that I have read before.

I am so thankful that God is such a forgiving God and through His grace, we are able to start anew…with a clean slate – a pure heart – and a child-like mind – excited and willing to grow and mature in a Christlike way – that we have never known before.

“How great is the love the Father has lavished on us that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know Him. Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know, that when He appears, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is. Everyone who has this hope in him purifies himself, just as He is pure.” 1 John 3:1-3

PRAYER: Thank you Lord, for bringing us back to our childhood. So that we can be your children once again. Thank you, Father for your grace and forgiveness, and your laws and your justice.

“Correct me Lord, but only with justice, not in your anger. Lest you renounce me to nothing.” Jeremiah 10:23

Randi Spearman
November 25, 2008

I am tired of being in jail.

Today is my best friend’s birthday – Happy Birthday Mo…I wish I was there to celebrate with you!

I found out that my really good friend Krissy is having a baby! Oh, how I wish I could be there to help her with that too! And Shauna has a birthday coming (I SURE DO, PEOPLE!). My dad’s birthday just passed. My cousin got married. My 7 year old niece is wearing my shoes to church!

And I am missing it all! Life doesn’t stop for anyone else just because it stopped for me!

But this “break” from life has been a blessing – that’s for sure. And although it could be a lengthy break…I know this is what I need.

I got a letter from my best friend from Jr. High. He reminded me about when we led a Bible study at school in the mornings. And about when we went to “See you at the Pole.” He told me that instead of seeing this time as punishment, I should see myself as a missionary.

Thank you, God, for this statement!

When I look at it this way – I don’t get afraid of how much time I am looking at. I don’t worry about a court date. And I am okay with missing birthdays and stuff because I know that bringing people to Jesus is causing a way huge celebration!

Love,

Randi
November 4, 2008

1. I am in jail, at the age of 26.

GOOD: If I weren’t in jail, I would still be out on the streets doing and selling drugs. I would be lonely and depressed because of the drugs. That is way worse than how I feel now. I would not have God back in my life. I would still be running around with no purpose. No direction. No hope. No future.

2. I am facing anywhere from 5 to 20 years in prison.

GOOD: No matter how much time that I get – I know that is how long God has put aside for me to get my mind right. To prepare me. To teach me and to grow me. I can serve God just as well in prison as I can in the real world.

3. I am lonely, scared, bored and claustrophobic.

GOOD: Although I am lonely – I can open my Bible anytime and listen to God talk to me. I can pray anytime and talk to Him. Although I am scared, God has told me “Do not worry about tomorrow. For tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own” (Matt 6:34) He also says, “Do not be afraid of what you are about to suffer. I tell you the devil will put some of you in prison to test you…be faithful, even to the point of death, and I will give you the crown of life.” (Rev 2:10) So -really, I am not that scared. he usually talks me out of that one. Although I am bored – there is stuff to do. I am reading a lot. I am catching up on my sleep. I can write * arts and crafts * and play cards. **I can’t find any good out of being claustrophobic. This room is so small and the air circulation is … well….there is none… umm…but on Tuesday’s and Saturdays, we get to go outside. So Tuesdays and Saturdays are better!

4. I have no “Alone-Time.”

GOOD: Although I am not ever physically alone – EVER – I an put my headphones on and block out most of the noise. And K-LOVE usually puts me in my own little world.

5. The food sucks!

GOOD: But – on Wednesdays, we get hot dogs for lunch! And honey buns on commissary…and I have gained 20 POUNDS! Which was much needed considering, I came in here at 105lbs.

6. All I can do is wait.

GOOD: God has given me the gift of patience. Which is something that I NEVER had before. So – while I am waiting , I keep in mind that I am waiting on God. And that makes it easy to do.

“The Lord is slow in keeping His promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you – not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.” (2 Peter 3:9)

7. I have lost a lot of my best friends.

GOOD: The friends that I lost were not the ones that were good influences on my spiritual walk. The new friends I have made here ONLY want to help me grow spiritually.

8. I am away from my family.

GOOD: I was away from my family before. But now I talk to them every day! And I know now how much I miss them in my life before! And I can’t wait to get out and be with ya’ll!

9. I have lost a lot of my stuff.

GOOD: I wont be needing any of my stuff in here anyway! Shauna got a lot of new things and I know I will have better “stuff” in Heaven.

Wow – there are a lot of positive things to go along with my tough life! And there are probably a lot more. It feels really good to do this. I mean it really just made my day so much better. I wish I would have done this this morning.

Love,

Randi
10/15/2008

I encourage you all to do this today! It is so easy for us to get wrapped up in how life could be so much better and easier. I challenge you to find joy in today! Find joy in right now! Right where God has put you.

I have finally decided to get comfortable with jail – because I feel like that is what I am supposed to do right now. I am getting used to the routine and I am realizing that this is it. Same thing every single day.

I could be bitter about jail – or I can use this time to better myself and prepare for what is to come.

I could worry about how much time I am looking at or about why my court date got pushed back 2 months – but I choose to worship instead because after all -
“He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters.” Psalm 18:16

So praise God for saving me & bringing me here – and for giving me this time to rest and focus and grow and learn.

I also try to enjoy my time instead of just enduring it. I most definitely choose to be joyful. I try to make people laugh – but most of the time, I am just laughing at myself (which usually gets at least a smile out of most.)

I sometimes break into a spontaneous cheer and dance around the dorm. And I even wake up singing songs of praise whenever I can. (Sometimes, some of the guards try to steal my joy by making us sit quietly at the tables for roll call.)

But the joy of the Lord is still my strength.

So, I just say a little prayer for them. And I hope that one day they can find this joy in their lives that I have in mine.

I found a verse yesterday that I absolutely love! “In all our troubles, my joy knows no bounds.” 2 Corinthians 7:4

This is so true for me! In all honesty – because I have joy – and it just keeps coming and coming – sometimes I forget that I am even in trouble. And I know it would do me no good to be angry or negative about my circumstances because it is necessary to go through these hardships in order to grow and mature and learn from my mistakes. I cannot correct the past or change the choices that I made.

But I can plan on taking a different course from here on out! And I don’t even have to choose which course it is. I just need to be still. Listen. And go – wherever the Lord tells me to go.

Isn’t that great that I don’t even have to figure out what my next step in life is going to be. I think it is so great! I am too excited about putting my complete faith and my whole life in the hands of God and letting Him do whatever He wants with me!

Wow! Oh, the places we will go! And until then – I am praying up and pressing in. And practicing a better way of living and thinking. Because – after all – they cant keep in me in jail forever!

Randi
10/15/2008

We believe that God has many more women headed in Randi’s direction at WBRCC – and He needs her there right now. This also allows her new lawyer to be fully prepared for her hearing.

That being said, it is still disheartening at times to realize again and again that we have no control over any of this.

Randi is in good spirits though! I talked with her last night and she was doing well. She fell off of her bunkbed {again} 2 days ago…they really need to put her on the bottom bunk – this is just out of control.

We also talked on Sunday night and laughed a lot. If you know me or know Randi – you probably realize that we laugh A LOT…especially when we are together…and even if no one else is laughing….

Please keep Randi in your prayers this week & I hope to have a letter from her this afternoon or later this week!