I almost sliced my finger off at work today.  I had to get 4 stitches and a tetanus in my rear end!  The doctor that worked on me was CRAZY!  First thing she did as my finger was gushing out blood, was to take my temperature and check my blood pressure.  Of course my blood pressure was high because I was using the hand on the arm she checked to put pressure on my finger, so my arm wasn’t relaxed at all.  She said it was high because I was scared.  So then she says “We have to do paperwork before we look at your finger.” So she tries to log in to the computer, types the wrong password – twice- then proceeds to ask me, 1.  Does it hurt?  2.  Are you scared?  3.  Why are you crying?  I said ” I’m not crying – My finger is just dripping blood.” She said, “Oh – the computer says to ask you that.”  So finally she moves me to the “operating table” where she has me lay down and she puts a napkin over my head.  She says I can’t watch her because I might make her mess up.

Oh my gosh!!!! That’s when I started praying…Now I knew why she asked me if I was scared, because I got scared!  Half an hour later, she was bandaging up my finger.  I don’t know what stitches are supposed to look like, but mine were ugly!  The strings were sticking out about a quarter inch and still bleeding.  She covered up my finger real quick, so I didn’t have the chance to examine the mess she made of it.

So now I can walk around singing”This little light of mine and I’m gonna let it shine” all day and hold my light up!  God works good out of every situation and I’m giving glory to God with my bandaged finger and He will heal it correctly no matter what the crazy doctor might have done to mess it up.

I have good news!  I am moving into the dog rooms.  I have been a volunteer in the dog program for the past few months and they had a bed open up and they asked me to move!  So this is a huge blessing!  It means God is trusting me with more responsibility!  And you can guarantee that when God gives you more–the devil is going to come at you with more.  And he started putting doubts in my mind like “You aren’t going to be able to get along with one of your roommates” and “You are losing your bottom bunk…you don’t want to do this.”  Ummm…..let me think about this…you are a liar devil–Yes I do!!  Jennifer helped me sort through these thoughts.  She is just so smart.  She said that I might not have as much time to myself, but God is only getting me ready for the real world.  Cause when I get out of prison I will have so much to do and I will still have to find time for God.  So He’s filling up my schedule now so I can learn to make time for Him.  You know-He has really thought all this through!  He’s moving one step at a time in my life and however much I want Him to take 2 steps at a time because I’m ready to go home, He knows what’s best for me and He knows what I can handle.  So praise God for more responsibility and as Stormie Omartian would say “Just Enough Light for the Step I’m On.”

It’s one of those days today.  I was late for work!  And I almost went back to my old ways!  First thing that happened was I started thinking of all the reasons I was late….there’s always an excuse ya know!  I got new pants – they were too long – I had to cut them.  Then I had to go by the recycle bins…then I had to reheat my coffee cause the water wasn’t hot enough.  And I had to go by Jennifer’s room to tell her Happy Birthday.  So finally when I started walking to work and I didn’t see anyone else walking, I knew I was late!  (That’s how you know you’re in the wrong place in prison, when you don’t see anyone else around).  I looked at my watch and it was 6:58am… I had 2 minutes to get to where it takes 5 minutes to go.  So I walked faster and laughed at my self for automatically coming up with excuses.  I don’t even need them!  It’s not like I clock in!  My old boss Phil sure will get a kick out of this.  He knows all about my ridiculous excuses. 

It’s funny how the smallest of habits come back at random times.  But the good thing is that I realized it right away- laughed about it-then decided to write about it instead of act on it.  I hope life is that simple when I get out of prison.  I pray that I will acknowledge any old habit-laugh at it-then write about my road to recovery!  It’s going be great because all you readers will be holding me accountable!  I look forward to it!