Tangled Up in Drugs Continued

I know I have said before that I have had a bad choice of boyfriends, but that wasn’t always the case.  Sometimes I was a bad influence on them.  My last boyfriend didn’t eve smoke meth until he met me.  I was an addict, I smoked every day and eventually he smoked it because I did.  He told me once that he would marry me if I wasn’t on drugs.  I didn’t understand it then because he was on drugs too.

But now I do.  I was a totally different person on drugs than I am now.  I made myself miserable therefore any one around me was miserable as well.  I was selfish.  I thought that everything should revolve around me.  I thought that my ideas were always the best and my ways were always the smartest.  Boy was I wrong!  My way didn’t work at all!  God says “My thoughts are higher than your thoughts and my ways higher that your ways!” (Isaiah 55:9)  I only wish that I would have known then what I know now.  Actually I did know it, but I did not comprehend it.  I did not receive it. 

Praise God that he has opened my eyes and “restored unto me the joy of His salvation.” (Psalms 51:12)  And He says to “forget what is behind and strain forward what is ahead.” (Philippians 3:13)  And God is truly helping me with forgetting everything I was involved in because I am having a hard time putting a lot of it into words.  I thing a good way to sum up my past is to say I started off as a user and 6 years later I was selling pounds of meth.  It was a slow fade.  But this drug took complete control of my life.  But I have my life back now.  Jesus said, “I have come that they may have life, and have it to the fullest.” (John 10:10)  So even though I have lost my life in the free world, I have gained eternal life.  And whether I live as a prisoner or as a free woman, I am living my life for God.  And that is living it to its fullest!